January 11, 2014

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<channel>
<title>Barnaby_Ham’s Xanga Blog</title>
<wp:wxr_version>1.1</wp:wxr_version>
<wp:multisite>
<wp:xanga_user_id>4470925</wp:xanga_user_id>
<wp:site_title>Barnaby_Ham’s Xanga Site</wp:site_title>
<wp:site_address>barnaby-ham</wp:site_address>
<wp:admin_email>Jake_Speicher@yahoo.com</wp:admin_email>
</wp:multisite>
<wp:author>
<wp:author_login>Barnaby_Ham</wp:author_login>
<wp:author_display_name>Barnaby_Ham</wp:author_display_name>
<wp:author_email>Jake_Speicher@yahoo.com</wp:author_email>
</wp:author>
<item>
<title>Xanga is dead</title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Sun, 27 Jul 2008 20:50:50 -04:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[I am shutting down my Xanga and starting a new blog at http://www.jakespeicher.wordpress.com.&nbsp; Please check it out.<br>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_date>2008-07-27 20:50:10</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2008-07-28 00:50:10</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>667899314</wp:original_xanga_id>
</item>
<item>
<title>Xanga College Highlights part 2–Sophomore Year</title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Thu, 12 Jun 2008 04:14:12 -04:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[Saturday, July 09, 2005<br /><br /><br />Quotes From the Canada Trip<br />Devon: Sneezes‚Ä®Someone: Bless You‚Ä®Choisy: Fuck You!<br />Officer who pulled me over while I have Taco Bell in my hand:¬† “What are you boys doing in Binghamton?”<br />Weatherholtz after taking a dump:¬† My asshole feels spent!<br />Speicher:¬† If she gave me a blow job through my pants I’d tip her $5<br />Weatherholtz: “What’s the deal with the Duty Free Shop?”‚Ä®Choisy: “You take a doody and they give it to you for free.”<br />Trucker we met in the street: “You guys got any fat chicks lined up for tonight?”<br />Devon: “These fuckin cookies are fucking good…FUCK YOU!”<br />Choisy: “Is it still on my penis?”<br />Devon: “Can I watch more porn…PLEASE?”<br />Gay guy from across the street on top of a roof in a baby pool to Devon:¬† “Don’t be shy!!”<br />Devon:¬†”I could stab through the bed with my morning wood right now.”<br />Speicher: “Does she queef?”<br />Choisy to Devon: “Aww you just had that on your wop back.”<br />Bum: “Can you spare a down payment on a corvette?”<br />Weatherholtz: “This street is quaint.”<br />Bum 2: “jdfojohfzjd’lk cnpojfpjasojh.”<br />Hookers to Weatherholtz and Choisy: “You guys need some company?”<br />Devon: “I wasn’t fucking snuggling with you!”<br />Choisy watching free hotel room porn: “Let’s see where this goes.”<br />Speicher:¬† There is nothing like getting drunk and watching free hotel room porn.”<br />Weatherholtz in reference to the Catholic Church: “Italians just love virgins.”<br />Devon: “I am sweating like an anus.”<br />Devon: “I need more Woody’s.”<br />Devon: “Spend all my money on food and liquor.”<br />Devon and Speicher are standing outside a gas station waiting for Choisy and Weatherholtz.‚Ä®Speicher: “What is taking them so long?¬† What are they jerking each other off?”‚Ä®Devon: “Probably”‚Ä®Speicher: “Aww why aren’t we getting jerked off?”<br />Choisy: “I think I have explosive diarrhea.”‚Ä®Weatherholtz: “You want me to pull off at the next exit?”‚Ä®Choisy: “No, nevermind, it was a stomach cramp.”<br /><br /><br />Saturday, August 27, 2005<br /><br /><br />While my summer is not officially over yet, it is practically over.¬† Almost everyone is gone because they go to normal schools, normal distances from their houses, with normal schedules.¬† I am beginning to realize that College is the culmination of a trend that has existed since we first began school.¬† In first grade it was naptime.¬† In Junior High it was recess.¬† In High School it was clubs.¬† In College it will be summer.<br />So¬†with the radio and MTV constantly throwing “Wake Me Up When September Ends” at me, the song has grown into something more than a tribute to Billy Joe’s dead Father or a send off to the troops in Iraq.¬† It has become the realization that one-day June, July, and August will fade in to other months on a calendar.¬† I think that’s what the song means anyway.¬† The song is about people who don’t want to face the truth.¬† They just want to drift. Summer is all about drifting.¬† I can’t tell you one substantial thing I have done in the past three months.<br />And one-day summer will be done.¬† Not just because it’s September, but because there is a job, responsibility.¬† There will be no place for drifting.¬† The teacher’s proverbial “Real World”¬†will have¬†finally caught me.¬† I’ll kick and fight for a while.¬† But,¬†eventually, I’ll buy a suit; have a business card and a day planner.¬† And I’ll sit in my cubicle, and look at my screensaver of sunshine, and think to myself, “remember when…”¬†<br /><br />Tuesday, September 13, 2005<br /><br />Ôøº<br />Currently Listening<br />Goodbye Yellow Brick Road<br />By Elton John<br />see related<br /><br />New Address<br />2774 Kincaid St.<br />Eugene OR, 97405<br /><br />Saturday, October 01, 2005<br /><br /><br />It is time for the first drunk post of the new school year.¬† I don’t have anything important to say only that my stuff will be here in 5 days, and I will finally have a bed, a desk, and somewhere to put my stuff other than my floor.¬†<br />School sucks but what else can you expect from school? Awesomeness?¬† I think not. Awesomeness only applies to things outside of school or work.¬† Like puddle jumping or dancing on a table in Weatherholz’s frat.¬†<br />Also I have discovered the beauty of gin.¬† It has a strange and glorious effect on me.¬† Three cheers to usage.¬†¬† I have no idea whether it is effect or affect right now.¬†¬† However, I am taking a grammar¬†class and I might know someday.¬† But not today.¬† Maybe in a week.¬† A lot can happen in a week.¬† Ok time to pass out.¬† BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!¬† I love exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br /><br />Saturday, November 05, 2005<br /><br /><br />Big Bryan talking about Gold Rush (It’s a goldschlager knock off)<br /><br />”It tastes like Big Red…It’s a gum.”<br /><br />Sunday, December 11, 2005<br /><br /><br />In light of Reggie Bush’s recent Heisman victory, Alex thought it would be prudent to post the poem he had written about Mr. Bush.¬† He even changed the final couplet to make it current.<br /><br />Today I decided, ‚Ä®<br />decided I wanted to make love,‚Ä®<br />sweet passionate sweaty love,‚Ä®<br />To Reggie Bush.‚Ä®‚Ä®<br /><br />Last name so arousing,‚Ä®<br />first name so…Reggie!‚Ä®<br />Reggie so fast and so black,‚Ä®<br />fast, black, and beautiful.‚Ä®‚Ä®<br /><br />If you corral this steed, ‚Ä®<br />I’ll hook your Longhorn.‚Ä®‚Ä®<br /><br />Copyright S. Alex Ollinger 2005<br /><br />Sunday, January 15, 2006<br /><br /><br />Life comes down to two…yes or no.¬† However if it is that simple why are we afraid.¬† Yes is an absolute towards happiness, and no is…well no.¬† But these two thoughts hang over our heads and leave us to deal with them.¬† Yes and No!¬† Maybe and sometimes get lost in our confusion.¬† Clarity is a blessing.¬† and confusion is human nature.¬† I wish life would clarify itself¬† and make things easy.¬† But then whatn would be the point?¬† Christmas would then be pointless and an admission of gluttony.¬† Instead I see it as Salvation.¬† Contact with that that really matters,¬† Jesus I am drunk.¬† I am typing this with one eye closed.¬† I hope in the end that maybe we desereve what we earn.¬† Amen!<br /><br />p.s. Maybe…I have been watching to much Sopranos<br /><br />Wednesday, January 18, 2006<br /><br /><br />Me: (Reffering to my roommate’s park job) Dude you are like eight feet from the curb.<br />Brian: Well you are eight feet from good looking.<br /><br />Sunday, January 29, 2006<br /><br /><br />It‚Äôs funny.¬† We sit up late at night expecting some stroke of genius to strike us.¬† Something to interrupt the stillness, something to interrupt the calmness and the infinity.¬† It causes my brain to desire thought.¬† It is just a time of the day, a moment in existence.¬† However, there is something about 3 in the morning that begs the question.¬† So I go to my computer like some lost animal, hoping instinct will take me home.¬† But instead I find a blank word document and a cursor flashing in the night.¬† I decided that having the desire to be a writer causes you to think you can solve the world with a thought, a turn of phrase, a metaphor.¬† When all it really does is make you sift through memories in the night.<br /><br />Friday, February 17, 2006<br /><br /><br />In my Writing for the Media class we had this assignment where we had to describe a famous person.¬† On the list of people we could describe was Kermit the Frog.¬† Due to the recent obsession with Kermit I chose him.¬† This is what came out:<br /><br />Kermit the Frog struts the swamp like an amphibian who knows his success.¬† His spindly legs support his green magnificence.¬† It was in this very swamp that 27 years ago the world was introduced to Kermit.¬† The year was 1979 and after the social upheaval of Vietnam and the late ‚Äò60s and early ‚Äò70s, America was searching for a voice.¬† An honest, pure voice.¬† One that would ring through the superficial excesses of the previous and up-coming decades.¬† So, with the strum of his banjo, Kermit unleashed his shattered optimism.¬† It was a voice that combined his childlike desire with his adult realism.¬† He asked: ‚ÄúWhy are there so many songs about rainbows? And what‚Äôs on the other side?‚Äù¬† His eyes always open to reality, he looked to the sky and continued: ‚ÄúRainbows are visions, but only illusions, and rainbows have nothing to hide.‚Äù¬† Now, so many years removed from that song, Kermit has moved on.¬† He has moved on to comedy and movies‚Äîbut always with a message.¬† ‚ÄúIt ain‚Äôt easy being green,‚Äù rings as true now as it did then.¬† Kermit has become an icon.¬† An American symbol that proves no matter how gloomy the day‚Äîthere is always a ‚ÄúRainbow Connection.‚Äù<br /><br />Friday, March 03, 2006<br /><br /><br />”So what does Weatherholtz want to do with his life?¬† Be a Gigolo or something?”– Judith Speicher<br /><br /><br />Wednesday, March 15, 2006<br /><br />Amanda:¬† Why’d they give me white rice?<br />Me:¬† Why you got to make it a racial thing?<br />Brian: Yeah what are you?¬† A rice-ist.<br /><br />Sunday, March 19, 2006<br /><br /><br />It’s a gut check, these nights in the dark.¬† A cold ache in the stomach.¬† It’s probably the booze, but booze doesn’t hurt.¬† Not at three in the morning.¬† It should be a blinding bliss.¬† A masking agent.¬† But something is there, something hurts.¬† Something besides the empty night.¬† A void is too cliche, so is an emptiness.¬†¬† I can’t even let myself feel.¬† So I crawl into bed trying for the last escape.¬† Sleep, dreams, silence.¬† Only, they are filled by the cold ache.¬† The guilt, the anger, the confusion.¬† Why?¬† The ironic question.¬† You search for the answer everywhere but where it lies.¬† You conceal it in clever word play and metaphors, but then your journal entry gets out of hand and you dismiss the journey.¬† fuck.<br /><br />Wednesday, May 17, 2006<br /><br /><br />I feel lost and overwhelmed<br /><br /><br />Sunday, June 04, 2006<br /><br /><br />The question I have been asking myself recently is after two years of college–what have I learned?¬† Sure I know more about geology and economics, but where is the life changing information?¬† Where is the relavance I was promised.¬† These class all blend into fulfilled requirements, and while my transcript shows otherwise…I don’t feel fulfilled.¬† I don’t understand why this is worth $30,000 a year.¬† It feels like high school just continued itself.¬† Don’t get me wrong I am only talking specificly about the class content.¬† Living on my own, so far from home, has been a welcomed and exciting challenge.¬† But what about my real education.¬† When do I start to see the world differently.¬† So far the learning part of college has not been worth the build-up.<br /><br />Sunday, June 11, 2006<br /><br /><br />What I Learned my Second Year of College<br /><br />¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† I took a bunch of classes and I am not sure what the point of any of them was.¬† I mean English was supposed to teach me English, and grammar was supposed to teach me grammar, but I didn‚Äôt learn anything.¬† I read King Lear for the second time and I learned what a dangling modifier was. WOOO!!<br />¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† I took two writing classes.¬† One made me think I was the shit‚Ķthe other made me feel like I had picked the wrong major.¬† I took a class nicknamed ‚ÄúInfo Hell.‚Äù¬† The result: a poorly organized paper telling how guest-workers are the solution to the American immigration problem.¬†<br />¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† I learned that there was a song entitled ‚ÄúEveryone has more sex than me.‚Äù¬† My roommates displayed the truth in that statement.¬† I learned that it is easy to order food than cook it.¬† I learned that self-made food tastes better.¬† I understood the genius of HBO television.¬† I realized I watch too much TV.<br />¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† I read some of a book by William Faulkner.¬† I realized Faulkner is one of those things smart people say are great because they don‚Äôt understand it.¬† They are just afraid to admit it.¬† Weatherholtz didn‚Äôt get mono this year.¬† Congratulations.<br />¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† I saw more of what Eugene had to offer.¬† I realized that this state has nothing to offer but methamphetamines.¬† I also smoked pot with my roommate‚Äôs 16 year-old sister.¬† That was interesting.<br />¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† I realized classes like geology and Spanish serve no purpose but to fulfill requirements.¬† I also realized I serve no purpose but to fulfill requirements.¬† My parents‚Äô, my school‚Äôs, my own.¬† I got drunk a bunch and learned that it isn‚Äôt any different from the first time.¬† I ate a lot of Mexican food.¬† Because it is delicious.<br />¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† I got a job at the newspaper next year.¬† Maybe I‚Äôll learn something new.¬† I hope so.¬† I hope something is worth all this money.¬† So far the only things that have been worthwhile have been living on my own and English classes.¬† Here‚Äôs to knowledge.¬† Here‚Äôs to nothing.¬†<br /><br />]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_date>2008-06-12 04:10:35</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2008-06-12 08:10:35</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>661216114</wp:original_xanga_id>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[i reread some of your old old old entries today, 2004 style. they made me laugh or made me sad or made me insert the appropriate emotion here.<br /><br />where ARE you? what are you doing? why are you MIA?]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2008-06-25 22:00:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2008-06-26 02:00:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>insertdorkhere</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://insertdorkhere.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>1687030</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1435869236</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title>Xanga College Highlights part 1–Freshman Year</title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Wed, 11 Jun 2008 06:21:10 -04:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[Friday, October 01, 2004<br /><br /><br />So tonight was my first thirsty thursday, and I must say it was an enjoyable experience.¬† Spiced Rum is the shit.¬† I tried to drink a beer and I was drunk enough that I probably could’ve fininshed it, but the whole time I was going, “Wow this is gross! How can anyone drink a large amount of this shit?”¬† Then the guy on my hall said he had 9 in half an hour and I was like man I guess someone can drink a large amount of this shit.¬† THe moral of this story is I am drunk and there are no morals.<br /><br />Tuesday, November 09, 2004<br /><br /><br />I just waited in line for Halo 2 because I am super cool!<br /><br />Saturday, December 04, 2004<br /><br /><br />Drunk as shit beyond the edge of reason I stand.¬† Not stand, stumble into the abyss that is the conscienciousness between awake and a mindless incoherency.¬† I wish I could think straight.¬† I wish¬†I could feel straight.¬† Instead, I feel a vast empty want, and I long for tomorrow.¬† Maybe tomorrow will be tomorrow or maybe it will¬†be the countless routine of my everyday existence.¬† I lean towards the latter with remaining hope that perhaps a¬†different tomorrow will come.¬† If their is a constatnt it is that tomorrow will always come¬†and with it comes the potential for tomorrow. Tomorrow, tomorrow, I’ll love you, tomorrow, you’ll only out of reach and forever a day away.<br /><br />Thursday, January 13, 2005<br /><br /><br />My grandma sent me a letter today.¬† In this letter were the following statements.<br />”Me and your Grandfather are very dissapointed in you and your friends.¬† Not only did we open our house to you we allowed you your privacy and trusted you to act as responsible people.¬† Obviously, we were wrong.¬† Obviously you and your friends do not respect your granfather and I.¬† I hope you think about what you have done, and realize how disappointed your Grandfather and I are in you and your friends.”<br />¬†<br />I hope you guys are happy!<br /><br />Saturday, January 15, 2005<br /><br /><br />So far I’ve been to two cities in Oregon, Eugene and Corvallis.¬† So far I feel I have made the right choice in going to Eugene.¬† Corvallis was like Reading without the charm.<br />You know what else is fun…getting caught drinking.¬† Campus security is so awesome you wouldn’t believe it.<br /><br />Saturday, January 22, 2005<br /><br /><br />Words don’t flow out like endless rain into a paper cup.¬† Instead they are calculated and lost.¬† Why do two or three words suddenly strike up meaning and defeat purpose?¬† What does that mean?¬† You got me.¬† I wish I could discover tomorrow.¬† I’ve written about that before.¬† I still don’t know what it means.¬† Like Star Trek 6…The Undiscovered country.¬†<br /><br />Tuesday, February 01, 2005<br /><br /><br />I’ve decided that getting drunk on a Monday night was not the greatest choice of my entire life.¬† However, what’s done is done.¬† And I am drunk again.¬† I should stop writing in here when I am drunk.¬† I think it gives people the wrong idea.¬† I am going to sleep now.¬† I have spanish in 8 hours, and while that may not sound like a lot I have class from 10 until 5:30 tomorrow.¬† That isn’t enjoyable at all, and that’s why getting drunk on a monday is a bad idea.¬†<br /><br />Wednesday, March 02, 2005<br /><br /><br />Today I was eating lunch in the cafeteria minding my own business, reading the newspaper, and enjoying my food.¬† Then this guy walked over to my table and sat down across form me.¬† I nodded at him and continued to read my newspaper.¬†<br />He then asked me “what’s up?”¬† Not knowing who he was I responded with a cordial “not much” and tried to go back to my newspaper.¬† He asked me my name.¬† I said it was Jake, and he responded by saying his name was Mike and offering his hand for me to shake.¬† Now slightly annoyed, but not wanting to be rude, I shook his hand and muttered “how’s it going?”<br />I once again turned to my newspaper when the guy across from me coughed and said, “can I ask you a question?”¬† Here it comes I thought.¬† He’s one these stupid survey taker people.¬† Why do they always bother me when I am eating or reading or doing something productive?¬† Trying to be polite again I replied, “Sure go ahead.”<br />He paused for a second and then asked his question.¬†<br />”Are you straight?”<br />Stunned, I replied, “yes.”¬† Mike then sighed and said “ok.”¬† He left me to my newspaper and my lunch, saying only “that’s all I wanted to ask you I guess.”<br />I tried to finish reading my newspaper but I couldn’t stop laughing.<br /><br />Thursday, March 10, 2005<br /><br /><br />I have decided I am not coming back from LA after Spring Break.¬† I am going to stay there and become a busboy in a Hollywood.¬† From there I can fufill my aspirations to push bad scripts onto high powered producers without ever being successful.¬† Then when I am thirty and king of the Hollywood busboy failures I will return to college.¬†¬†Where I will study underwater basket weaving¬†and would certainly be guaranteed a job right after graduation.<br /><br />Friday, March 11, 2005<br /><br /><br />Remember steamy cum shot rice?<br /><br />Saturday, April 02, 2005<br /><br /><br />Does anyone know why tequila makes you poop as much as it does?<br /><br />Saturday, May 14, 2005<br /><br /><br />You know what’s funny?¬† My writing teacher told me not to use rhetorical questions in my essay.¬† What does he know?¬† Oh Irony! You are so funny.¬† You know what isn’t funny?¬† Rhetorical questions? NO!¬† Mononucleosis.¬† Yeah, Weatherholtz I am bored out of my left brain because you had to get Mono.¬† I’m not really bored out of my left brain.¬† I miss my left brain.¬† My Journalism class has all but crushed it on “intuitive consciousness.”¬† What does that mean?¬† Is that a rhetorical question?¬† It that?¬† I love vicious cycles.¬† They are chalked full of irony.¬† My new friend is irony.<br />For example, I miss home, yet I go to Oregon.¬† I like basketball, but my favorite team is the Lakers.¬† I hate stupid movies, but I saw House of Wax two days ago.¬† Irony.<br />I am so tired of school it is ridiculous.¬† Somehow macroeconomics has lost its charm.¬† So has free music.¬† I counted today.¬† I have 30 cds worth of downloaded albums I never intend to buy.¬† Poor Weezer, U2, The Beatles, and Bill Cosby.¬† Have any of you listened to Bill Cosby? (Rhetorical question #4,371).¬† He is a genius.¬† aww Irony.¬† (mention of irony #1,395,647).¬†<br />I think I am so smart.<br />Then I take an economics class and my brain explodes and my professor laughs. “20 out of 35 is the typical average on the second test.¬† I should know.¬† I’ve been teaching this course for 10 years.”<br />I like geology.¬† My professor constantly references himself.¬† “I discovered this, and I came up with this theory all by myself.”¬† He is a genius.¬† I think?¬† You know what show is genius?¬† Scrubs.¬† Don’t laugh at me I like it.¬† You know what show sucks?¬† American Dad.¬† Don’t laugh at me I hate it.<br />Ok, I’m tired of school.¬† I want my house.¬† Actually, I have a house for next year.¬† 6 bedrooms, 2 baths, $400 a month.¬† Sweet!<br />Stupid mononucleosis!<br /><br />Wednesday, June 08, 2005<br /><br /><br />What I Learned During my First Year at College<br />¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† I learned that Oregon is close to everywhere, but far from anywhere.¬† I learned what it meant to be a Duck fan.¬† I learned what it means to be a USC fan.¬† I learned that football games are awesome, Kellen Clemens sucks, and pot smells worse in a stadium.¬† I learned what beer I like; I learned what beer I don‚Äôt like.¬†¬† I learned what beer tastes like shit.¬† I learned to drink it anyway.<br />¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† I realized college food sucks.¬† I realized I eat too much college food.¬† I learned what a good cigar could be.¬† I learned that a swisher sweet can get the job done in the clutch.¬† I learned some people aren‚Äôt meant to drink.¬† I learned I am not one of them.<br />¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† I learned economics, history, political science, geology, journalism, English.¬† Only one is my true calling, and I learned it‚Äôs not the one I thought.¬† I learned I won‚Äôt change my major.¬† I realized 3,000 miles is really far.¬† A cell phone taught me 3,000 miles isn‚Äôt that bad.¬†<br />¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† I learned the beauty of free music.¬† I learned the value of friends who I could talk too.¬† I missed mom, dad, brother, sister, dog.¬† I felt free.¬† I lived on my own.¬† I learned what I could do.¬† Economics taught me what I can‚Äôt.¬† High School seemed so distant, and then it came avalanching into my everyday.¬† I learned High School has to end.¬† It just doesn‚Äôt in freshman year of college.<br />¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† I dreamed the dreams of a bright eyed youth.¬† I‚Äôve come to terms with the clouded visions of a bored cynic.¬† I learned the value of cynicism, sarcasm, and optimism.¬† I learned the three could coexist.<br />¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† ¬†I learned when it is time to leave, and time to stay.¬† I learned the importance of now.¬† I was taught the importance of tomorrow.¬† Yesterday trailed behind.¬†<br />¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† I understood the value of dry humor.¬† I figured out how to take a shower and not inhale second hand pot smoke.¬† I realized how much I loved Mexican food.¬† I saw I play to many video games.¬† I was told I spend too much money.<br />¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† College taught me lots of things.¬† College opened a lot of doors.¬† It closed more.¬†<br />¬†<br />‚ÄúOregon our Alma Matter,<br />We will guard thee on and on.<br />Fellows gather round and cheer her,<br />Sing the story, Oregon.<br />Roar the praises of her warriors,<br />Chant her glory Oregon.<br />Onto victory urge the heroes,<br />Of our mighty Oregon.‚Äù<br />¬†<br />‚ÄúOb-la-di, Ob-la-da,<br />Life goes on.‚Äù<br /><br />]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_date>2008-06-11 06:17:09</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2008-06-11 10:17:09</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>661077835</wp:original_xanga_id>
</item>
<item>
<title>Random Youtube video</title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Sun, 01 Jun 2008 03:44:58 -04:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[I found this while searching for the equally hilarious Mr. Bucket commercial.<br /><br /><br /><b><a href=”http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6l1e_edna&#8221; target=”_new”>Edna</a></b><br /><i>Uploaded by <a href=”http://www.dailymotion.com/tamalougbobola&#8221; target=”_new”>tamalougbobola</a></i></div>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_date>2006-08-15 22:17:46</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2006-08-16 02:17:46</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>519607663</wp:original_xanga_id>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[I can honestly say, I never expected to see innocent little E.T. get drilled in the face.]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-08-16 03:14:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-08-16 07:14:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>NINJARTIST</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://ninjartist.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3448787</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1170122898</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title></title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Mon, 14 Aug 2006 17:03:52 -04:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[The new love of my life<br><span style=”text-decoration: underline;”><img src=”http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v514/Barnaby_Ham/1400052580.jpg”></span><br>%5D%5D></content:encoded&gt;
<wp:post_date>2006-08-14 17:03:52</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2006-08-14 21:03:52</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>519200400</wp:original_xanga_id>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[<P>For a split second, I thought it was Natalie Portman…</P>
<P>…Wait a minute, is she one of those chefs who pronounce everything&nbsp;”accurately” in an attempt to sound authentic? …”Ok, everyone. Now we’re going to boil the <EM>SPAH-GEEE-TEE</EM>…” No thanks. Now, Julia Child -She was a slice of heaven.</P>]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-08-14 17:19:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-08-14 21:19:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>NINJARTIST</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://ninjartist.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3448787</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1168794563</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[ah! i love giada de laurentis! she’s so…italian.<BR/><BR/>i like rachel ray too but she’s slightly more annoying.]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-08-14 18:03:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-08-14 22:03:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>insertdorkhere</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://insertdorkhere.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>1687030</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1168826791</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[im italian, wheres my god damn cook book!]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-08-15 02:22:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-08-15 06:22:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Naked_Ian</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://naked-ian.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3216619</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1169191800</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title></title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Tue, 01 Aug 2006 21:28:45 -04:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[You know what show has hilarious comercials?<br><br>The Price is Right<br>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_date>2006-08-01 21:28:45</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2006-08-02 01:28:45</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>514767881</wp:original_xanga_id>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[I wish I could sit at home all day watching Price is Right]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-08-02 15:24:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-08-02 19:24:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>MyHitAndRun</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://myhitandrun.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3359835</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1157591272</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[I watched it at work.]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-08-02 17:57:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-08-02 21:57:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Barnaby_Ham</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://barnaby-ham.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>4470925</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1157721842</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Kings among men.]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-08-14 17:21:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-08-14 21:21:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>NINJARTIST</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://ninjartist.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3448787</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1168795550</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title></title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Thu, 27 Jul 2006 22:21:31 -04:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[So finally I worte some new Running for Jesus.&nbsp; I swear this time it is almost done.<br><br>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>The movie now moves on to the debate.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>All of the religious figures are sitting
along a table facing the same way.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>Sitting at a desk is the Journalist.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>As the debate begins the camera is focused on the journalist, but he is
looking the other way as if he were looking at the wrong camera.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Good Evening La‚Ķwhat?…oh‚Ķ(he turns to face the
camera).<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Good Evening Ladies and
Gentlemen, and welcome to the world’s first multi-denominational religious
debate.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>All of the important religious
figures from around the world are here.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>One note before we begin the Prophet Mohamed could not make it tonight
because he blew himself up.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Let me
introduce our panel.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Representing the
Evolutionists we have the Yeti.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>It‚Äôs
good to see you again Mr. Yeti</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Yeti: Makes Chewbacca noise.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Next we have the Atheist</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Atheist: Good Evening to you and my fellow panelists</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: You don‚Äôt make any sense.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Next we have Jesus Christ.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Jesus: This is a waste of my time.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Let‚Äôs just hope this doesn‚Äôt end like the last
time you sat in the middle of a table.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>Next to him we have Satan.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Satan: The last time I was this close to Jesus, I got us
both lost in the desert.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: (obnoxious chuckle) Next to him we have Moses.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Moses: Shalom</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: And wrapping up our panel we have Confucius and
Buddha.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Both nod</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: This question is for everybody.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Gentlemen, what makes you most qualified for
supreme power over existence?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Yeti: Chewbacca noises and grabs his nipples</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: That joke will never get old.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Atheist Man, you‚Äôre reason.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Atheist: I believe that only under the direction of a human
can mankind reach its fullest potential.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Genius, Jesus?<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>Your answer?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Jesus: That is a ridiculous question and I refuse to answer
it.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Fine, Satan?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Satan: I believe that am I the most qualified.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I am the only one here who has actually ruled
a region of the netherworld.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I believe
my experience as ruler of Hell has provided an adequate foundation for taking
the next obvious step…heaven.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Now, to you Moses</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Moses: I am good with money</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Are you just a benign stereotype?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Moses: Yes, yes I am</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Fine by me.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>Confucius, you’re up.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Confucius: Opens fortune cookie and reads</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Enlightening, Buddha, What do you have to say?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Buddha: I believe that the stream of life needs a
headwater.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I intend to be those waters.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: I‚Äôm going to be honest and say I know nothing
about Eastern religion. Ok, this question is also for everybody.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>How would you end the world?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Yeti: Leans over and farts.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: First poop and now farts‚Ķgenius. Atheist?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Atheist: (lights flash on and off.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>There is a thunderclap and the camera zooms
in on his face.) Partial birth abortions</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Jesus Christ?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Jesus: Oh you know they way it was written down, ‚ÄúAnd I
looked as he opened the sixth seal, and behold there was a great earthquake,
and the sun became as black as sackcloth, and the moon became as blood. And,
the seas boiled, and the skies fell.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>Judgment day.”</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Isn‚Äôt that from Ghostbusters?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Jesus: NO!</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Satan?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Satan: I believe the previous administration gave man free
will.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I believe in free will‚Ķ</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: I bet you do.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Satan: Haha touch√©, but as I was saying, if free will is the
way to go, which I believe it is, then the end of the world would have to come
from the actions of man’s free will and not the acts of some divine
equestrians.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Moses?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Moses: Everybody would eat pork.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: I don‚Äôt know if you are offensive or ridiculous.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Moses: ridiculous for $600 Alex</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Confucius, moving on.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Confucius: reads fortune from fortune cookie</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Wow, you are almost as bad as Moses. Buddha. End
the world.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Buddha: Everyone would be reincarnated as Joan Rivers.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: I‚Äôd do myself.</p>

<br>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_date>2006-07-27 22:21:31</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2006-07-28 02:21:31</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>513018573</wp:original_xanga_id>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[I think this was the funniest part of the movie]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-07-28 06:31:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-07-28 10:31:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>MyHitAndRun</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://myhitandrun.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3359835</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1152193016</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[<P>Sounds great, <BR/>but unfortunately I am envisioning elaborate sets and costumes…</P>]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-07-28 09:03:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-07-28 13:03:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>NINJARTIST</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://ninjartist.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3448787</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1152252796</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[i too, would do myself]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-07-30 20:21:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-07-31 00:21:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Naked_Ian</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://naked-ian.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3216619</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1154594326</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[<P>where the fuck is mother nature, fuck face?&nbsp; </P>

<P>my lawyer will be in touch.&nbsp; </P>]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-08-02 09:59:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-08-02 13:59:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>freamy</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://freamy.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>4427060</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1157261761</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title></title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Thu, 27 Jul 2006 01:53:14 -04:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[If anyone wants any measure of how they’ve changed as a person go back and read your xanga entries from the very beginning.&nbsp; It’s enlightening and hilarious.<br>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_date>2006-07-27 01:53:14</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2006-07-27 05:53:14</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>512714756</wp:original_xanga_id>
</item>
<item>
<title></title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Mon, 17 Jul 2006 00:54:26 -04:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[New Running for Jesus!!!&nbsp; It’s not a lot though.&nbsp; It just sets up the debate.&nbsp; I hope to finish this script this week and start filming this weekend.&nbsp; Please be around…everybody.&nbsp; Ok new script…<br><br>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>This commercial starts off with the Yeti walking away from a
Church with his head down.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>The part from
Evolution by Pearl Jam plays where Eddie Vedder yells “It’s Evolution Baby.”
And the picture of Ape to Homo Sapien is run across the screen.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>And it cuts back to the Yeti who is taking a
dump in front of the Church.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Then the
words ‚ÄúVote the Yeti.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Because Evolution
is Natural.” flashes on the screen.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Cut back to the studio</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Wow, let‚Äôs hope they aren‚Äôt planning on running
a <i style=””>smear</i> campaign.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Moving on to tonight‚Äôs special guest.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Some call him an aimless tool who has nothing
better to do with his time but complain, and others call him an atheist.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Ladies and Gentlemen‚Ķ An atheist.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Atheist: It‚Äôs good to be here.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: So you don‚Äôt believe in anything?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Atheist: No‚Ķthat would make me a nihilist‚Ķand before you say
it…I know that would be exhausting.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: I wasn‚Äôt going to say that.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Atheist: Yes, you were.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>And being an atheist means that I simply do not believe in any sort of
God or higher power.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Interesting‚Ķso what brings you to our show
tonight?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Atheist: What they didn‚Äôt tell you?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: I just read the prompter.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Atheist: I am here to announce my candidacy for God.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: What?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Atheist: I believe it is time mankind believed in something
real.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: So you are running for a position you don‚Äôt
believe exists?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Atheist: No I am running for supreme ruler of the universe.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Oh this is some sort of secular power trip‚Ķlike
the pledge of allegiance thing?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Atheist: No this is different‚ĶI believe the supreme ruler of
the universe should be its supreme being‚Ķ<st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:State w:st=”on”>Man.</st1:State></st1:place></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: What about aliens?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Atheist: Now you are just being ridiculous.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: You‚Äôre the one running for God.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Atheist: God is the one who is ridiculous.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: I thought he didn‚Äôt exist?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Atheist: He‚Äôs the one who died with no contingency plan.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: What?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Atheist: That is why I am proposing an open forum
debate.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>It will be open to anyone
wishing to be elected God.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: If you become God does that mean you‚Äôll stop
existing?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Atheist: Stop talking‚ĶThis debate will occur Wednesday at a
neutral sight.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Anyone who is worth their
weight in spiritual matter will be there.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: What are you worth?<span style=””>&nbsp; </span></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Atheist: Nothing‚ĶI have no soul‚ĶGood night and Good Luck.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: What a dickface‚Ķto end tonight‚Äôs show we have
the brand new campaign commercial from the Christian party…roll it.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>This commercial is set to Guns and Roses version of Knockin‚Äô
on Heaven‚Äôs Door.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Jesus stands in a
field holding cards that have the beatitudes on them (These are a series of
bible versus found in Matthew that all start with “Blessed are the…”) He drops
the cards like the old Bob Dylan video (Go to youtube and search Subterranean
Homesick Blues.)<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Then when the chorus
comes on Jesus is literally knocking on people’s doors and handing then vote
for Jesus fliers.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<br>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_date>2006-07-17 00:54:26</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2006-07-17 04:54:26</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>509086142</wp:original_xanga_id>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[I’m not sure if I’ll be needed for any reason, but you said, “Please be around…everybody.”&nbsp;… Hopefully I can work something around my night shift schedule.]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-07-17 14:47:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-07-17 18:47:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>NINJARTIST</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://ninjartist.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
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<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3448787</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1141259578</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title></title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Mon, 10 Jul 2006 18:56:28 -04:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p class=”MsoNormal”>It‚Äôs time for my last World Cup post for the next four
years.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I don‚Äôt know how I feel about the
prospect of still having a Xanga in four years, but that is a problem for a
different entry.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>This entry will be very pro-England so deal with it.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Favorite Player: Wayne Rooney <st1:country-region w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>England<img src=”http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v514/Barnaby_Ham/rooney_g.jpg”></st1:place></st1:country-region></p&gt;

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>This guy represents everything I love about international
soccer.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>He‚Äôs passionate and tough.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>This is the guy that stepped on some Portuguese
guy‚Äôs nuts‚Ķawesome for fans‚Ķterrible for the Portuguese and their testicles.<img src=”http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v514/Barnaby_Ham/stamp_g.jpg”></p&gt;

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Least Favorite Player: Cristiano Ronaldo <st1:country-region w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Portugal</st1:place></st1:country-region> (Guy
in Middle)<img src=”http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v514/Barnaby_Ham/ronceleb_g.jpg”></p&gt;

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>He represents everything I hate about international
soccer.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>He was one of those douche bags
who would have a career ending injury one minute and be fine 30 seconds
later.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Plus he intentionally started a
fight and got my favorite player kicked out of the game.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I hope some English soccer hooligans break
his kneecaps.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Player of the Tournament: Zinedine Zidane <st1:country-region w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>France<img src=”http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v514/Barnaby_Ham/zidabnepen_get500.jpg”></st1:place></st1:country-region></p&gt;

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>A legend who made it ok for me to root for a country that
smells like cheese.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Him and Thierry
Henry were the most enjoyable duo to watch in the tournament.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Plus, Zidane single handedly beat mighty <st1:country-region w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Brazil</st1:place></st1:country-region> for the
second time (He did it in the 1998 final).</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Goal of the Tournament: David Beckham vs. Ecuador<br></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>He bent it like Beckham, which is funny, because that‚Äôs his
name.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Moment of the tournament</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Not only did he completely wreck a pretty boy Italian, but
it was hilarious.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Sure, <st1:country-region w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>France</st1:place></st1:country-region> lost but
this was a classic sports moment.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Biggest Tournament Winners: The Fans<img src=”http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v514/Barnaby_Ham/italayfab_get500.jpg”><img src=”http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v514/Barnaby_Ham/fasrabcefans_rmps500.jpg”><img src=”http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v514/Barnaby_Ham/fanfar_me500.jpg”><img src=”http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v514/Barnaby_Ham/fanbomber_g.jpg”><img src=”http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v514/Barnaby_Ham/brafan_g.jpg”><img src=”http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v514/Barnaby_Ham/blesse-bong500.jpg”></p&gt;

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>They speak for themselves</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Game of the Tournament: <st1:country-region w:st=”on”>USA</st1:country-region>
vs. <st1:country-region w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Italy<img src=”http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v514/Barnaby_Ham/elbow_e.jpg”></st1:place></st1:country-region></p&gt;

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>This picture perfectly describes this game.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>It was tough.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>It was gritty. And the <st1:country-region w:st=”on”>U.S.</st1:country-region>
was the only team to not lose to <st1:country-region w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Italy</st1:place></st1:country-region>.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Here comes the <st1:country-region w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>USA</st1:place></st1:country-region> in 2010.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>WOOO!!!</p>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_date>2006-07-10 18:54:48</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2006-07-10 22:54:48</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>506823846</wp:original_xanga_id>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[ummm no thank goodness football starts at the end of the month or even better NCAA ’07 comes out in a week!!!]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-07-10 23:54:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-07-11 03:54:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Yeti41</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://yeti41.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
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<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1134386068</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[World Cup rules, Zidane and Rooney kick ass, and fuck Italy.]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-07-11 11:26:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-07-11 15:26:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>MagicMako</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://magicmako.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>8110987</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1134770574</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[fuckin portugese….]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-07-14 22:19:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-07-15 02:19:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Naked_Ian</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://naked-ian.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3216619</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
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<wp:comment_id>1138793462</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title></title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Wed, 05 Jul 2006 00:52:17 -04:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[Here are the two newest sections of Running for Jesus.&nbsp; They involve Satan and the Yeti.&nbsp; All polysyllabic critiques are welcomed.<br><br>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Tonight we continue our continuing series on the
developing religious crisis that is sweeping the globe.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Tonight our guest is the dark lord
himself‚ÄîSatan.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Good evening Mr‚Ķ</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Satan: Satan will do.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: well you do have so many names it is hard to
know which one to use (obnoxious laugh).</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Satan:<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Just Satan is
fine.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Mr. Satan, inside sources tell us that you are
the leading suspect in the death of God.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Satan: That is outrageous.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Why?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Satan: They are just coming after me because I am Satan‚Ķoh
the price of evil…he’s so evil…he is the only one evil enough to commit such an
act.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: So you feel that it is an unfair
characterization?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Satan: Exactly‚Ķeveryone sees the horns and the red face and
they automatically assume I want their soul, or that I want to bring back the
80‚Äôs.<span style=””>&nbsp;&nbsp; </span>What did I do to deserve this?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: There was that one time you wanted to take over
heaven.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Satan: Sure‚Ķeveryone wants to throw that in my face.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>You know what‚Ķ <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Milton</st1:place></st1:city> made half that story up.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Me and God had a slight disagreement.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Is that why he threw you into the abyss?<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>A slight disagreement?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Satan: Well‚Ķhe needed someone to rule the underworld.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: So he threw you?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Satan: Threw‚Ķput down gently‚Ķit‚Äôs pretty much the same thing
when you are an almighty being.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>God
didn’t know his own strength.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: What about now?<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>There is no one in power in heaven.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>Could we see the mighty Beelzebub ruling the universe?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Satan: Actually that‚Äôs why I wanted to come on to your show
tonight.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I am announcing my candidacy
for God.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Your candidacy?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Satan: Since I invented democracy I thought it would be the
best way to solve this problem.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Satan invented democracy?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Satan:<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Who else would
invent a system of government that demanded it be kept away from the church?<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>That was my way of saying (sticks up middle
fingers) to God for banishing me to that hell-hole.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: I thought he ‚Äúput you down gently.‚Äù</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Satan: You say tomato I say to-mato, anyway the point is I
have decided the only fair way to establish a new God is to let the faithful
masses decide.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I even created a campaign
commercial.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I was hoping I could show it
on air tonight.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Sure we have no objective integrity around
here.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Roll it.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>The tape begins to roll.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>We see Satan walking down the street.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Satan:<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Hello, my name
is Satan, and people have a lot of misconceptions about me.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>When they hear Satan they think (shows a
picture of Hitler) this guy, (picture of Osama Bin Laden) this guy, and sadly
even (picture of Ann Coulter) this guy.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>But that is flat out wrong.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Sure
I‚Äôve made my mistakes (picture of <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>New
Orleans</st1:place></st1:city> after Hurricane Katrina), but who hasn‚Äôt.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Heck, even God thought I was worthy enough to
rule a part of the afterlife (picture of Satan by Gustave Dor√©.)<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Your votes can put me in charge of the entire
universe.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>So when Election Day
comes‚Ķremember when you think Satan‚Ķdon‚Äôt think Hell.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Random voice over: Paid for by the Friends of Satan…Cerberus,
Charon, and Richard Nixon.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Back to studio</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Wow</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Satan: It‚Äôs awesome right?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: No‚Ķit‚Äôs terrible.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Satan: Do you think it will get me a lot of votes</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Absolutely not‚Ķbut that‚Äôs all the time we have
for now.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Satan announced he invented
democracy and we verified that Ann Coulter is a man…goodnight, and remember you
heard it here…first.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Fade to Black</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: With election day fast approaching the Christian
community has finally verified that Jesus will run.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Tonight we have Jesus‚Äô first campaign
commercial followed by our special, in studio guest. (Change camera angle).
Tonight‚Äôs first story involves the upcoming election.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I go out to the field to report.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>‚ÄúYeti Conversations.‚Äù Comes up on the screen.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>While the voice-over is happening there is
footage of the Yeti walking in a field.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist (voice-over): To some he is yeti, or
Bigfoot.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>To others he is the missing
link.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span><st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Darwin</st1:place></st1:city>‚Äôs darling.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>But with the tragic death of God, he has
become a symbol of inspiration.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Cut to Journalist sitting in chair.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Tell us your story.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Yeti: Chewbacca noises.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist (voice-over): That‚Äôs right.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>From his birth here in the forest (Picture of
Yeti in the forest).<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>To his recent
dinner with the President (Photoshopped picture of Yeti wearing a tie and
shaking hands with Bush.)<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>He has always
been a go getter (footage of him pretending to work in an office.)<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>However, now he wishes to put his drive into
another gear.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Back to the interview</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Yeti: Chewbacca noises</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: And this why you chose to announce your
candidacy?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Yeti: Chewbacca noises</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist voice-over: Since Darwin first introduced his
theory in 1859(picture of <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Darwin</st1:place></st1:city>).<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Mankind has rejected their humble
beginnings.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>(Shows scene from ‚ÄúPlanet of
the Apes” where he says “take your paws of me you damn dirty ape.”(It’s on
youtube, I checked).)<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>But the Yeti wants
to change this perception</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Cut back to interview</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: What do you say to those pundits who feel you
are unqualified?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Yeti: (Picks up a piece of paper, writes pundits on it, and
tears it apart.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>He then literally goes
apeshit.)</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Cut to journalist standing in woods.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: So, From the woods to the heavenly thrown.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>This Lincolnesque tale could have a divine
ending.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Reporting here‚Ķfrom these humble
beginnings‚Ķthe race for God gets a new horse.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>I‚Äôm Stuart Scott‚ĶESPN.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><span style=””>&nbsp; </span></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Cut back to studio</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: That was penetrating material.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>In addition to that report we have a brand
new Campaign commercial to accompany it.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>This commercial starts off with the Yeti walking away from a
Church with his head down.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>The part from
Evolution by Pearl Jam plays where Eddie Vedder yells “It’s Evolution Baby.” And
the picture of Ape to Homo Sapien is run across the screen.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>And it cuts back to the Yeti who is taking a
dump in front of the Church.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Then the
words ‚ÄúVote the Yeti.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Because Evolution
is Natural.” flashes on the screen.</p>

<br>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_date>2006-07-05 00:49:04</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2006-07-05 04:49:04</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>504663796</wp:original_xanga_id>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[i don’t know if im down with taking a dump infront of a church, im not a dog here and do you need to show a picture of darwin?]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-07-05 13:12:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-07-05 17:12:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Yeti41</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://yeti41.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
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<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1128842166</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[<a href=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAxkNbyqxD8&#8243; target=”_blank”>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAxkNbyqxD8</A>&nbsp;is this what you want in the satan part…exactly like this?]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-07-05 13:23:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-07-05 17:23:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Yeti41</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://yeti41.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>5065334</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1128854359</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[i can be a stunt ass, and take the dump]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-07-06 02:09:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-07-06 06:09:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Naked_Ian</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://naked-ian.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3216619</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1129529855</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[<P>You&nbsp;could take&nbsp;a wet one on&nbsp;the edge of the roof at&nbsp;<BR/>Glad Tidings and let it run down the big windows…</P>
<P>…Too far?</P>]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-07-06 08:10:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-07-06 12:10:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>NINJARTIST</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://ninjartist.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3448787</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1129652595</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title></title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Sun, 02 Jul 2006 01:15:25 -04:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[Woo more Running for Jesus script.&nbsp; I am posting the whole thing because I change a couple of details.&nbsp; I am still looking for feedback and ideas.&nbsp; Writing things like ehh and meh do not help.<br><br>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>God is standing a field completely alone.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>He is wearing white robes and a golf
hat.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>In his hand he has a golf
club.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>He goes back as if to swing.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>He stops and grabs his chest.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>God (voice-over): Did I remember to take my heart medication
today.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Wait‚Ķyes I did.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Thank myself.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>A car comes in from out of frame and hits God.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Begin Credits.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>As the
credits roll a news bulletin is being read, and Levon by Elton John is being
played.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Today in Heaven God was run over to death at
3:00 pm eastern standard time.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>He was
found dead on arrival in the tee box of the 2<sup>nd</sup> hole.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>None of the family could be reached for
comment but they have issued a statement.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>‚ÄúThis is a tragedy for not just the Lord‚Äôs family, but all of mankind.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>We would thank you for your prayers, but
sadly there is no one left to hear them.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>We will however accept all cash donations.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Thank You and have a nice day.‚Äù<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>The police have no suspects for the hit and
run case, but an inside source mentioned Satan.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>We will have more information on the 6:00 news.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>However now we rejoin your regular broadcast
of the Simpsons, but for now.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>God is
dead.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>It is early morning.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>Jesus wakes up and grabs a cup of coffee.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>He goes outside to grab his newspaper.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>It is the New York Times.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Taped to the front page is a piece of
notebook paper that reads ‚ÄúGod is Dead.‚Äù<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>Jesus spits out his coffee.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>We see the same journalist sitting at a desk with
Jesus.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: On tonight‚Äôs special edition of Hard Copy, we
have a very special guest.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>To some he is
our Lord and Savior, to others he is a guy famous for his sandals.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Ladies and gentlemen I am here with Jesus
Christ.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Jesus: Thank you</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Mr. Christ, how are you?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Jesus: I‚Äôve been better</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: That‚Äôs understandable.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>How is the heavenly community dealing with its
tragic loss?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Jesus: You know the usual wailing and gnashing of teeth.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: More so than when you died the first time</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Jesus: Oh yes, definitely.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>Then they knew I was coming back.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>But this time‚ĶDad‚Äôs gone forever.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>You should see Michael and Gabriel they are a mess.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: That‚Äôs tragic.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>Now to a hard question.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>How do
you respond to pundits who argue that God‚Äôs death has led to a power vacuum? <span style=””>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Jesus: Surely they understand that this system works like a
monarchy.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>The King is dead and the Son
will take his place when the time is right.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Surely this will outrage the non-Christian
community.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Jesus: What do you mean?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Wouldn‚Äôt your assertion of power solidify
Christianity has the one true faith and alienate the billions of people out
there who worship other deities.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Jesus: Well I am the Son of God.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: And that entitles you?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Jesus: Well‚Ķyeah</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: But wouldn‚Äôt that follow some sort of elitist,
non-democratic line of thinking.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Jesus: But I am Jesus.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Well then what are your qualifications to be the
new leader of the world’s faithful masses?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Jesus: Listen you son of a bitch I AM JESUS.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Sir, you can‚Äôt use that kind of language of
national television.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Jesus: Listen to me you cagey cocksucker. I am the son of
God.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I will smite you.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Jesus will be the new Lord and Savior or I will
be smote.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Goodnight‚Ķand remember you
heard it here…first.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Fade to black</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist is sitting at the same desk.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Last night, the self-proclaimed new God‚ÄîJesus
Christ—came onto the show and declared that he was entitled to Lordship simply
by birth.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>This has caused a public
outcry among every non-Christian religious group in the world.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Because of this, Hard Copy has two very
special guests.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>First representing the
East we have Buddha.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Good evening</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Buddha: It‚Äôs good to be anywhere.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: And representing the West we have Moses.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Good evening.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Moses: Hello</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist:<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>Gentlemen, last night Jesus Christ made some inflammatory comments.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Your responses.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Moses: Hebrews do not recognize Jesus as ever really being
the Savior of our people.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>We declare his
claim to the throne as illegitimate.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Buddha: I would have to agree with my Jewish friend.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>The only true God is the self.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Moses: What do you mean ‚ÄúJewish?‚Äù</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist:<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Who then
do you believe has a rightful claim?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Moses: Only the Savior sent by God himself can lead my
people out of the desert.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Buddha: Yeah, because you did such a good job.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Moses: What does that mean?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Buddha: Nothing.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Gentlemen, what do you propose as a solution?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Moses: I would like to develop a system of commandments and
laws that would be natural and easy to follow.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Buddha: Yeah, because that worked so well the first time.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Moses: You know what, I‚Äôll come over there and take your
karma and shove it up your ass.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Mr. Buddha, What do you purpose?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Buddha: I recommend that a man be accountable for his
deeds.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>If he commits an act against the
(make quote thing with fingers) true nature, Karma will catch up with him.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>In essence, what goes around comes around.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Moses: Yeah, like your Mom.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Buddha: You motherfucker</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Moses: Exactly</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Ok that‚Äôs enough.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>This debate is over.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>That‚Äôs our show for tonight.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Buddha recommended Karma as the new ruler of
the universe and Moses boned his Mom.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Goodnight
and remember‚Ķyou heard it here‚Äîfirst.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Fade to black</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Tonight we continue our continuing series on the
developing religious crisis that is sweeping the globe.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Tonight our guest is the dark lord
himself‚ÄîSatan.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Good evening Mr‚Ķ</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Satan: Satan will do.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: well you do have so many names it is hard to
know which one to use (obnoxious laugh).</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Satan:<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Just Satan is
fine.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Mr. Satan, inside sources tell us that you are
the leading suspect in the death of God.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Satan: That is outrageous.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Why?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Satan: They are just coming after me because I am Satan‚Ķoh
the price of evil…he’s so evil…he is the only one evil enough to commit such an
act.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: So you feel that it is an unfair
characterization?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Satan: Exactly‚Ķeveryone sees the horns and the red face and
they automatically assume I want their soul, or that I want to bring back the
80‚Äôs.<span style=””>&nbsp;&nbsp; </span>What did I do to deserve this?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: There was that one time you wanted to take over
heaven.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Satan: Sure‚Ķeveryone wants to throw that in my face.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>You know what‚Ķ <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Milton</st1:place></st1:city> made half that story up.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Me and God had a slight disagreement.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Is that why he threw you into the abyss?<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>A slight disagreement?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Satan: Well‚Ķhe needed someone to rule the underworld.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: So he threw you?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Satan: Threw‚Ķput down gently‚Ķit‚Äôs pretty much the same thing
when you are an almighty being.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>God
didn’t know his own strength.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: What about now?<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>There is no one in power in heaven.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>Could we see the mighty Beelzebub ruling the universe?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Satan: Actually that‚Äôs why I wanted to come on to your show
tonight.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I am announcing my candidacy
for God.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Your candidacy?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Satan: Since I invented democracy I thought it would be the
best way to solve this problem.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Satan invented democracy?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Satan:<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Who else would
invent a system of government that demanded it be kept away from the church?<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>That was my way of saying (sticks up middle
fingers) to God for banishing me to that hell-hole.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: I thought he ‚Äúput you down gently.‚Äù</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Satan: You say tomato I say to-mato, anyway the point is I
have decided the only fair way to establish a new God is to let the faithful
masses decide.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I even created a campaign
commercial.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I was hoping I could show it
on air tonight.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Sure we have no objective integrity around
here.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Roll it.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>The tape begins to roll.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>We see Satan walking down the street.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Satan:<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Hello, my name
is Satan, and people have a lot of misconceptions about me.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>When they hear Satan they think (shows a
picture of Hitler) this guy, (picture of Osama Bin Laden) this guy, and sadly
even (picture of Ann Coulter) this guy.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>But that is flat out wrong.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Sure
I‚Äôve made my mistakes (picture of <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>New
Orleans</st1:place></st1:city> after Hurricane Katrina), but who hasn‚Äôt.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Heck, even God thought I was worthy enough to
rule a part of the afterlife (picture of Satan by Gustave Dor√©.)<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Your votes can put me in charge of the entire
universe.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>So when Election Day
comes‚Ķremember when you think Satan‚Ķdon‚Äôt think Hell.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Random voice over: Paid for by the Friends of Satan…Cerberus,
Charon, and Richard Nixon.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Back to studio</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Wow</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Satan: It‚Äôs awesome right?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: No‚Ķit‚Äôs terrible.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Satan: Do you think it will get me a lot of votes</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Absolutely not‚Ķbut that‚Äôs all the time we have
for now.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Satan announced he invented
democracy and we verified that Ann Coulter is a man…goodnight, and remember you
heard it here…first.</p>

Here is the picture I was talking about <br><a target=”xangaphoto” href=”http://x48.xanga.com/31580a072757863742313/b42730410.jpg”><img src=”http://x48.xanga.com/31580a072757863742313/z42730410.jpg&#8221; border=”0″ width=”400″></a><br>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_date>2006-07-02 01:15:25</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2006-07-02 05:15:25</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>503589943</wp:original_xanga_id>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[<P>i dont like that 80’s comment….bastard</P>]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-07-02 10:23:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-07-02 14:23:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Yeti41</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://yeti41.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>5065334</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1125942454</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[I think its funny. There is a stephen lynch song about satan, and there is a part where in a really happy and gay voice he goes “my name is sataaaaan woo-hoo!” I think that part should play at the end of the satan commercial.]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-07-02 10:49:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-07-02 14:49:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>MyHitAndRun</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://myhitandrun.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3359835</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1125960985</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[<P>Feedback:</P>
<P>1.) “rejoin your regular broadcast”<BR/>i’m not entirely sure that makes sense.<BR/>2.) is smote a word? i always thought it was smited.<BR/>3.) i really wish amy could play satan, because i think with the red hair and the lines you wrote for him, she could be perfect. and it could be a statement about women being the devil.<BR/>4.) ann coulter part = hilarious.<BR/>5.) i don’t think you need the repetition of the democracy &amp; ann coulter joke at the end of that segment.</P>]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-07-02 10:55:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-07-02 14:55:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>insertdorkhere</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://insertdorkhere.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>1687030</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1125964500</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[can i be jesus again?]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-07-02 15:05:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-07-02 19:05:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Naked_Ian</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://naked-ian.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3216619</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1126144659</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[I don’t like to read much…I’ll just see the movie version of it.<BR/><BR/>Nevermind, I read it anyway. <BR/>Thinking ahead, I would like to edit it, if possible <BR/>(once I have a computer that likes me, that is).]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-07-04 09:49:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-07-04 13:49:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>NINJARTIST</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://ninjartist.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3448787</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1127764562</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Edit&nbsp;the footage,&nbsp;I mean…I like the script.]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-07-04 09:50:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-07-04 13:50:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>NINJARTIST</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://ninjartist.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3448787</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1127765415</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title></title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Fri, 30 Jun 2006 01:05:30 -04:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p class=”MsoNormal”>Here is the early work on the re-vamped “Running for Jesus” script.&nbsp; I want to know if the tone is right and if it works.&nbsp; All comments will be much appreciated.</p><p class=”MsoNormal”><br></p><p class=”MsoNormal”>God is standing a field completely alone.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>He is wearing white robes and a golf
hat.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>In his hand he has a golf
club.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>He goes back as if to swing.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>He stops and grabs his chest.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>God (voice-over): Did I remember to take my heart medication
today.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Wait‚Ķyes I did.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Thank myself.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>A car comes in from out of frame and hits God.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Begin Credits.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>As the
credits roll a news bulletin is being read.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Today in Heaven God was run over to death at
3:00 pm eastern standard time.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>He was
found dead on arrival in the tee box of the 2<sup>nd</sup> hole.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>None of the family could be reached for
comment but they have issued a statement.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>‚ÄúThis is a tragedy for not just the Lord‚Äôs family, but all of mankind.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>We would thank you for your prayers, but
sadly there is no one left to hear them.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>We will however accept all cash donations for our Lord.‚Äù<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>The police have no suspects for the hit and
run case, but an inside source mentioned Satan.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>We will have more information on the 6:00 news.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>We now will rejoin the broadcast of the
Simpsons, but for now.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>God is dead.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>It is early morning.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>Jesus wakes up and grabs a cup of coffee.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>He goes outside to grab his newspaper.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>It is the New York Times.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Taped to the front page is a piece of
notebook paper that reads ‚ÄúGod is Dead.‚Äù<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>Jesus spits out his coffee.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>We see the same journalist sitting at a desk with
Jesus.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: On tonight‚Äôs special edition of Hard Copy, we
have a very special guest.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>To some he is
our Lord and Savior, to others he is a guy famous for his sandals.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Ladies and gentlemen I am here with Jesus
Christ.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Jesus: Thank you</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: My Christ, how are you?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Jesus: I‚Äôve been better</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: That‚Äôs understandable.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>How is the heavenly community dealing with its
tragic loss?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Jesus: You know the usual wailing and gnashing of teeth.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: More so than when you died the first time</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Jesus: Oh yes, definitely.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>Then they knew I was coming back.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>But this time‚ĶDad‚Äôs gone forever.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>You should see Michael and Gabriel they are a mess.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Now to a hard question.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>How do you respond to pundits who argue that
God‚Äôs death has led to a power vacuum? <span style=””>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Jesus: Surely they understand that this system works like a
monarchy.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>The King is dead and the Son
will take his place when the time is right.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Surely this will outrage the non-Christian
community.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Jesus: What do you mean?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Wouldn‚Äôt your assertion of power solidify
Christianity has the one true faith and alienate the billions of people out
there who worship other deities.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Jesus: Well I am the Son of God.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: And that entitles you?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Jesus: Well‚Ķyeah</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: But wouldn‚Äôt that follow some sort of elitist,
non-democratic line of thinking.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Jesus: But I am Jesus.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Well then what are your qualifications to be the
new leader of the world’s faithful masses?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Jesus: Listen you son of a bitch I AM JESUS.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Sir, you can‚Äôt use that kind of language of
national television.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Jesus: Listen to me you cagey cocksucker. I am the son of
God.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I will smite you.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: You heard it here first ladies and
gentlemen.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Jesus will be the new Lord
and Savior.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Fade to black</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist is sitting at the same desk.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Last night, the self-proclaimed new God‚ÄîJesus Christ‚Äîcame
onto the show and declared that he was entitled to Lordship simply by
birth.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>This has caused a public outcry
among every non-Christian religious group in the world.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Because of this, Hard Copy has two very
special guests.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>First representing the
East we have Buddha.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Good evening</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Buddha: It‚Äôs good to be anywhere.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: A representing the West we have Moses.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Good evening.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Moses: Hello</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist:<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>Gentlemen, last night Jesus Christ made some inflammatory comments.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Your responses.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Moses: Hebrews do not recognize Jesus as ever really being
the Savior of our people.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>We declare his
claim to the throne as illegitimate.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Buddha: I would have to agree with my Jewish friend.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>The only true God is the self.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Moses: What do you mean ‚ÄúJewish?‚Äù</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist:<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Who then
do you believe has a rightful claim?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Moses: Only the Savior sent by God himself can lead my
people out of the desert.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Buddha: Yeah, because you did such a good job.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Moses: What does that mean?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Buddha: Nothing.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Gentlemen, what do you propose as a solution?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Moses: I would like to develop a system of commandments and
laws that would be natural and easy to follow.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Buddha: Yeah, because that worked so well the first time.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Moses: You know what, I‚Äôll come over there and take your
karma and shove it up your ass.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Buddha: What goes around comes around.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Mr. Buddha, What do you purpose?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Buddha: I recommend that a man be accountable for his
deeds.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>If he commits an act against the
(make quote thing with fingers) true nature, Karma will catch up with him.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>In essence, what goes around comes around.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Moses: Yeah, like your Mom.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Buddha: You motherfucker</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Moses: Exactly</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Journalist: Ok that‚Äôs enough.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>This debate is over.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>That‚Äôs our show to tonight.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Buddha recommended Karma as the new ruler of
the universe and Moses boned his Mom.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>And remember‚Ķyou heard it here‚Äîfirst.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>Goodnight.</p>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_date>2006-06-30 00:59:55</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2006-06-30 04:59:55</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>502864972</wp:original_xanga_id>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[eh]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-06-30 01:45:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-06-30 05:45:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Anonymous</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment_author_url>
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>-1</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1123974048</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[eh is not helpful…why is it eh? don’t be an asshole.]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-06-30 12:21:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-06-30 16:21:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Barnaby_Ham</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://barnaby-ham.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>4470925</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1124308731</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[<P>….i liked it.</P>]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-06-30 14:10:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-06-30 18:10:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>insertdorkhere</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://insertdorkhere.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>1687030</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1124416456</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[meh]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-06-30 14:49:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-06-30 18:49:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Anonymous</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment_author_url>
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>-1</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1124453542</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Less deities getting irate and swearing as humor.<BR/><BR/>More abortions.]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-07-02 03:18:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-07-02 07:18:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Anonymous</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment_author_url>
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>-1</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1125801125</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title></title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Thu, 29 Jun 2006 01:30:36 -04:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[Because I am to lazy to ever finish one writing project I am about to start another one.&nbsp; I think we should re-do “Running for Jesus.” However this time the script would be more focused and not have as many sub-plots.&nbsp; I think would should stick with the basics.&nbsp; God dies and the deities run a campaign and have a debate for who should take over.&nbsp; If anyone remembers some of the jokes or has a copy of the original script, it would be much appreciated.&nbsp; Also, like the original, I would like this movie to me a mixture of ideas from everybody.&nbsp; So if you have one I want to hear.&nbsp; One more thing, if you were an original creator and have a problem with me taking over this project I won’t.&nbsp; I’ll finish one of the 18 scripts I have already started.<br>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_date>2006-06-29 01:30:36</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2006-06-29 05:30:36</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>502478123</wp:original_xanga_id>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[I have a movie idea with God as a character…<BR/>…We could make an anthology of blasphemy!]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-06-29 09:20:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-06-29 13:20:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>NINJARTIST</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://ninjartist.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3448787</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1123065985</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title></title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Thu, 22 Jun 2006 21:06:01 -04:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[

<p class=”MsoNormal”>I‚Äôll admit it.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p>I bought into the hype.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p>‚ÄúRanked 4<sup>th</sup> in the world.‚Äù<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>‚ÄúThe best team ever fielded.‚Äù<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>‚ÄúMore than half the team plays in <st1:place w:st=”on”>Europe</st1:place>.‚Äù</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p>I saw the commercial.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p>You know the one where the world is screaming while the team
listens to ‚ÄúTake Me Out to the Ball Game.‚Äù</p>”One Game Changes Everything.”<br><p class=”MsoNormal”></p><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p>This would be the new American team.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>A team that could only be equaled by <st1:place w:st=”on”>Lake Placid</st1:place> or the original Dream Team.

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p>The setup right.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>We were playing a country from the former <st1:place w:st=”on”>Soviet
Union</st1:place>, they were ranked 2<sup>nd</sup> in the world.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>David vs. Goliath.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Us vs. the rest of the world.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p>Then the game happened.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>It looked like 7<sup>th</sup> graders scrimmaging the high school
varsity team.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>The Americans looked slow,
afraid, lost.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>After all, this wasn‚Äôt an
American sport.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Who did they think they
were to shock the world?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p>It looled like the team from the <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:country-region w:st=”on”>United States</st1:country-region></st1:place> had been told to
ignore the hype so many times that it deflated and rolled-over.&nbsp; Lost Confidence<br> </p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;But</o:p> it wasn‚Äôt over.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>The guy from <st1:place w:st=”on”>Brooklyn</st1:place> called out his
stars.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>‚ÄúMcBride, Donovan, Keller.‚Äù<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>These were names that shined in 2002, and
they would be needed again against the Italians.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p>So for the second time the setup was right.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>The three time cup-winning Italians versus
the lowly Americans.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>If it were boxing
it would have been David vs. Goliath 2: The Reckoning.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span><span style=””>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p>The Americans came out undaunted.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>They ignored history.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>They didn‚Äôt care about the fact they had
never won a World Cup game in <st1:place w:st=”on”>Europe</st1:place>, or that
the Italians were probably better then the Czechs.</p><p class=”MsoNormal”>They played hard, fast, fearless.<br></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p>They took elbows to the face, red cards, yellow cards,
flopping Europeans.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p>They took it like men‚Äîlike Americans.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p>The result‚Äî1-1.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p>So we had a tie, we were down but not out.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>There was a team from <st1:place w:st=”on”>Africa</st1:place>
in our way.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>A team from <st1:place w:st=”on”>Africa</st1:place> and the depleted Czechs.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p>The buzz was easy.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>The word—win.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p>It was almost expected.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>How could a team from Africa beat the <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:country-region w:st=”on”>United States</st1:country-region></st1:place>.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>How could the Italians loose.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p>Maybe that was our fault.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>Americans have often put a lot of stock in fate.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>But this World Cup was hardly a manifest
destiny.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p>The <st1:country-region w:st=”on”>U.S.</st1:country-region>
lost to <st1:country-region w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Ghana</st1:place></st1:country-region>
2-1.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>2-1.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p>Maybe the country should be shocked and appalled.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Maybe we should riot in the streets, or
publicly denounce Bruce Arena.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p>But wait a minute.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span><st1:City w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Miami</st1:place></st1:City> just won the
title.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Shaq sure showed <st1:City w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Kobe</st1:place></st1:City>.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>What
was Phil thinking?<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Hell, did you hear
about the Hurricanes?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p>Soccer had a chance to matter.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Instead it will take a backseat to football.</p>

]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_date>2006-06-22 21:06:01</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2006-06-23 01:06:01</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>500126705</wp:original_xanga_id>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[I told you…I told you. When your best player on the team has never played over seas and has never scored a goal in international play. soccer will never be big here and you need to realize it crackers. Football is a god compared to all other sports HA HA HA]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-06-23 00:48:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-06-23 04:48:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Yeti41</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://yeti41.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>5065334</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1116581970</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[<P>you’ll never make it as a sports writer…………….</P>

<P>jk</P>]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-06-23 15:48:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-06-23 19:48:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>MagicMako</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://magicmako.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>8110987</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1117189001</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[yea, i dont really like soccer that much<BR/><BR/>and im pretty happy we have “american” football, because no one else really plays it.&nbsp; its kind of our “thing”<BR/><BR/>however, i do wish we’d be better at soccer…i hate loseing to Euro-trash and….afro-trash]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-06-24 16:51:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-06-24 20:51:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Naked_Ian</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://naked-ian.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3216619</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1118175764</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title></title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Mon, 19 Jun 2006 21:49:15 -04:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[So I got a C in the class where I had to write the 100 page paper.&nbsp; I’ll take that.<br>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_date>2006-06-19 21:49:15</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2006-06-20 01:49:15</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>498966080</wp:original_xanga_id>
</item>
<item>
<title></title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Sat, 17 Jun 2006 01:43:14 -04:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt;”><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;”>I am reposting these in honor of the two-year anniversary of Senior week.&nbsp; Enjoy!</p><p class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;”><br></p><p class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;” align=”center”>‚ÄúBoobs‚Äù</p>
<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;” align=”center”>By Ryan Yanchocik</p><span style=”font-size: 12pt; font-family: ‘Times New Roman’;”><span style=””>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span>Webster‚Äôs describes breasts as a milk producing part of a female, found on all mammals.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>There are big boobs and little boobs. <span style=””>&nbsp;</span>I have seen lots of boobs.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>They are nice.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Fake boobs were big in the 90‚Äôs.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>My motto is if they are fake they better look damn good.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Many males have boobs as well, but they don‚Äôt produce milk.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>All size boobs are nice but really huge ones are nasty.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>This is it for my speech, and vote boobs in 2004.<br><br></span><span><p class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;” align=”center”>‚ÄúThe Red Planet‚Äù</p>
<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;” align=”center”>by Ryan Yanchocik</p>
<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt;”><span style=””>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span>It‚Äôs 2084, Captain Earl Ray Jones lands his ship on Mars.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>His crew gets out of the ship.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Their mission is to find a great area to support life.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>As they get out of the ship they see the amazing red jewel they will seize.</p>
<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt;”><span style=””>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span>After many days doing research on the Red Planet, they came across life.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Not little organisms, but little human/ape creatures.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>When these mini-humans first saw the astronauts they ran into small caves in the ground.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>So the humans decided to follow their underground trails and they found an amazing discovery.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>There were underground ruins under the soil.</p>
<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt;”><span style=””>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span>After spending many days with the space people, Earl Ray Jones felt sexual pleasure between a space chick.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>She gave him crazy space sex!<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>They would romp like rabbits.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>She liked it in the butt.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Earl got a green cold sore on his penis.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>After five long painful days his penis became black.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>He killed the space bitch and his crew, and left the evil STD filled Red Planet.</p><br><p class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt;”><br></p><p class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt;”><span><p class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;” align=”center”>‚ÄúChoisy‚Äôs Ideal Woman‚Äù</p>
<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;” align=”center”>by Ryan Weatherholtz</p>
<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt;”>Her pubes are as thick as a bush,</p>
<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt;”>Her ass is thick and good for the push.</p>
<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt;”>She throws with her left but jerks with the right,</p>
<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt;”>Her braces are green which adds to the bite.</p>
<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt;”>And when she gets boned she moos like a cow, </p>
<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt;”>So you blast it on her face with a big sloppy ‚ÄúPOW!‚Äù</p>
<h1 style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt;”><em><font size=”3″>SMUT!!!!*</font></em></h1></span></p></span><br>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_date>2006-06-17 01:43:14</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2006-06-17 05:43:14</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>497935491</wp:original_xanga_id>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[nice]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-06-18 22:44:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-06-19 02:44:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Naked_Ian</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://naked-ian.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3216619</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1111966263</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title></title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Mon, 12 Jun 2006 17:01:07 -04:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[I hate European soccer players.&nbsp; They are the biggest vaginas on earth.<br>
]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_date>2006-06-12 17:01:07</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2006-06-12 21:01:07</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>496228307</wp:original_xanga_id>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[where did this come from?<BR/><BR/>i agree, however.]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-06-13 10:33:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-06-13 14:33:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Naked_Ian</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://naked-ian.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3216619</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1106081597</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Just europeans? i disagree]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-06-13 23:40:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-06-14 03:40:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Yeti41</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://yeti41.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>5065334</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1106892255</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
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<title></title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Sun, 11 Jun 2006 04:26:26 -04:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div style=”text-align: center;”>What I Learned my Second Year of College<br>
<br>
<div style=”text-align: left;”>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><span style=””>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span>I took a
bunch of classes and I am not sure what the point of any of them was.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I mean English was supposed to teach me English,
and grammar was supposed to teach me grammar, but I didn‚Äôt learn anything.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I read King Lear for the second time and I
learned what a dangling modifier was. WOOO!!</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><span style=””>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span>I took two
writing classes.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>One made me think I was
the shit‚Ķthe other made me feel like I had picked the wrong major.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I took a class nicknamed ‚ÄúInfo Hell.‚Äù<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>The result: a poorly organized paper telling
how guest-workers are the solution to the American immigration problem.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><span style=””>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span>I learned
that there was a song entitled ‚ÄúEveryone has more sex than me.‚Äù<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>My roommates displayed the truth in that
statement.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I learned that it is easy to
order food than cook it.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I learned that
self-made food tastes better.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I
understood the genius of HBO television.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>I realized I watch too much TV.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><span style=””>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span>I read some
of a book by William Faulkner.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I
realized Faulkner is one of those things smart people say are great because
they don‚Äôt understand it.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>They are just
afraid to admit it.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Weatherholtz didn‚Äôt
get mono this year.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Congratulations.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><span style=””>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span>I saw more
of what <st1:City w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Eugene</st1:place></st1:City>
had to offer.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I realized that this state
has nothing to offer but methamphetamines.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>I also smoked pot with my roommate‚Äôs 16 year-old sister.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>That was interesting.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><span style=””>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span>I realized
classes like geology and Spanish serve no purpose but to fulfill
requirements.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I also realized I serve no
purpose but to fulfill requirements.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>My
parents‚Äô, my school‚Äôs, my own.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I got
drunk a bunch and learned that it isn‚Äôt any different from the first time.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I ate a lot of Mexican food.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Because it is delicious.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><span style=””>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span>I got a job
at the newspaper next year.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Maybe I‚Äôll
learn something new.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I hope so.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I hope something is worth all this
money.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>So far the only things that have
been worthwhile have been living on my own and English classes.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Here‚Äôs to knowledge.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Here‚Äôs to nothing.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span></p>

</div>
</div>
]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_date>2006-06-11 04:26:26</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2006-06-11 08:26:26</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>495634704</wp:original_xanga_id>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[bravo young lad]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-06-12 23:57:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-06-13 03:57:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>MagicMako</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://magicmako.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>8110987</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1105778880</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title></title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Wed, 07 Jun 2006 03:20:22 -04:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[My Journalism project came out to 106 pages.&nbsp; Hooray for hard majors<br>
<br>
One more week.<br>
]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_date>2006-06-07 03:20:22</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2006-06-07 07:20:22</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>494061506</wp:original_xanga_id>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[you poor bastard]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-06-07 11:07:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-06-07 15:07:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Naked_Ian</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://naked-ian.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3216619</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1099688479</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[My animation project came out to nearly 500 pages. Ditto.]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-06-07 15:22:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-06-07 19:22:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>NINJARTIST</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://ninjartist.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3448787</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1099957888</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title></title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Sun, 04 Jun 2006 05:11:07 -04:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[The question I have been asking myself recently is after two years of
college–what have I learned?&nbsp; Sure I know more about geology and
economics, but where is the life changing information?&nbsp; Where is
the relavance I was promised.&nbsp; These class all blend into
fulfilled requirements, and while my transcript shows otherwise…I
don’t feel fulfilled.&nbsp; I don’t understand why this is worth
$30,000 a year.&nbsp; It feels like high school just continued
itself.&nbsp; Don’t get me wrong I am only talking specificly about the
class content.&nbsp; Living on my own, so far from home, has been a
welcomed and exciting challenge.&nbsp; But what about my real
education.&nbsp; When do I start to see the world differently.&nbsp; So
far the learning part of college has not been worth the build-up.<br>
]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_date>2006-06-04 05:11:07</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2006-06-04 09:11:07</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>492858621</wp:original_xanga_id>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[stop posting shit while your drunk…its starting to turn emo]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-06-04 12:24:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-06-04 16:24:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Yeti41</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://yeti41.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>5065334</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1096334038</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[I wasn’t drunk]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-06-04 16:48:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-06-04 20:48:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Barnaby_Ham</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://barnaby-ham.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>4470925</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1096563323</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[<P>umm, as if there is something out there you don’t already know? everybody knows that college is just a “summer camp” like extension of highschool that delays “real life” for 4 or 5 years.</P>
<P>p.s. haha choisy</P>]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-06-05 10:34:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-06-05 14:34:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>MagicMako</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://magicmako.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>8110987</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1097304497</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[I agree with Matt. College isn’t nearly as important as everybody makes it out to be. Unless you are becoming a teacher , doctor, or lawyer, basic run-of-the-mill employers won’t care what you went to school for, just that you went to school and have a piece of paper with your name on it to prove it.]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-06-05 16:52:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-06-05 20:52:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>MyHitAndRun</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://myhitandrun.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3359835</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1097698219</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title></title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Thu, 01 Jun 2006 03:39:29 -04:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[It’s officially June.<br>
V for Vendetta is an awesome movie<br>
Rest of “Untitled Film Noir” script coming soon.<br>
<br>
That is all.<br>
]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_date>2006-06-01 03:39:29</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2006-06-01 07:39:29</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>491637197</wp:original_xanga_id>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[i agree, v for vendetta was very good<BR/><BR/>i just downloaded the 1812 overture]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-06-01 10:27:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-06-01 14:27:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Naked_Ian</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://naked-ian.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3216619</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1093002783</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[my dad took me to see v for vendetta right after he accidently gave me too much vicodin and bought me a crunchwrap.&nbsp; i don’t actually remember what parts of the movie are real or which parts i made up as i kept passing out but i do remember throwing up that crunchwrap.&nbsp;]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-06-01 22:14:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-06-02 02:14:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>freamy</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://freamy.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>4427060</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1093768077</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[mmmm crunchwrap]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-06-03 09:54:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-06-03 13:54:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>MyHitAndRun</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://myhitandrun.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3359835</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1095233716</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[I want some taquitos.]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-06-03 12:55:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-06-03 16:55:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>NINJARTIST</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://ninjartist.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3448787</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1095409341</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title>La</title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Thu, 25 May 2006 14:35:29 -04:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[Last night I started writing the first serious movie I think we’ll be
able to shoot.&nbsp; There are no complicated sets or gun fights.&nbsp;
It is just mostly dialogue.&nbsp; It is a film noir style movie and I
have written probably a third of the script.&nbsp; I want to know if
people are interested in directing and starring in a project like this
one so then I can write the rest based on interests.&nbsp; Plus, I am
just really excited by it, and I want others to read it.<br>
<br>
Movie starts here<br>
<br>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>An elegantly dressed woman is walking in an office
complex.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>She walks along sidewalks and
into the office building.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>She goes up
the stairs and comes to a long hallway.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>She walks down the hallway and heads towards the door.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>The whole time she is walking there is a
voice over.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Ms. McConnell (voice over): Jeff Spader is a royal
cocksucker.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>One of those Sam Archer,
Philip Marlowe types.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>A reincarnation of
Bogie without the charm and all of the alcoholism.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>He‚Äôll be sitting in his office with his feet
on the desk.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Cigarette smoke lingering
next to a half-empty bottle of whiskey.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>He‚Äôll be sipping a drink and refrying a cigarette.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I‚Äôll come in and his eyes will twinkle.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>The cheesy half-smile will come to his face,
and he’ll say hello like some bastardized Bond.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>We are in the office.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>Jeff Spader is sitting at his desk with an unlit cigarette in his
mouth.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>The sun comes through the window,
and rests on his hat.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>The hat is pulled
over his eyes and he is taking a nap.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>There
is a knock at the door and he quickly readies himself.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: Come in.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>The door opens and the elegantly dressed woman walks
in.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>She walks up to his desk and
stands.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Spader cracks a half-smile</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: Hello</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>McConnell: Mr. Spader, I need your help.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: Most people that come in here do, and the
others…they just come for the free drinks.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>He offers her a drink with his hand.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>She declines.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>McConnell: My husband has gone missing</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: Your husband? That‚Äôs a shame.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>He takes a drink</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>McConnell: May I sit down?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: Of course, mi casa es su casa.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>McConnell: Thank you</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: Cigarette?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>McConnell: No thank you</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: No booze, no cigarettes, and no husband you‚Äôre in a
bad shape lady…When was the last time you saw your husband?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>McConnell: Three months ago.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: Lady, that‚Äôs longer than the standard 24 hours.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>McConnell: He left <st1:State w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>New
York</st1:place></st1:State> for business three months ago, and I was
supposed to meet him here yesterday.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: And why are you inclined to think he is missing and
not lost in the eyes of another woman.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>McConnell: Because he sent me this letter at my hotel last
night.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>She hands him a letter.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>There is a voice over as Spader reads the letter and takes in the
woman.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader (voice-over): My Sweet Kate, Circumstances have
arisen, and I cannot meet you tonight.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>Kate huh?<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Circumstances?<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>No cigarettes, no booze.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>She is dressed mighty fine to be a God
fearing woman.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Look at the ring.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Jesus.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>A lot of women come through here.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>All of them have the same story.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>Husbands are missing.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>They offer
money, sometimes sex‚Ķbut usually money.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>Then it becomes my job to tell them there husbands are gone.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Lost in between the legs of the American
Dream.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Bigger and better.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Always bigger and better.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>This letter is short.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>It ends with I will come to you in the
morning.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Love, Pat.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Pat? Pat McConnell?<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Patrick McConnell.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>No booze my ass.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Voice over stops as he looks up from the letter.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: So let me guess? He never showed up this morning.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>McConnell: Right</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: What does your husband do Ms. McConnell?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>McConnell looks nervous.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>McConnell: I‚Äôll have that drink now</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: Here it comes.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>McConnell: What?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: The reason you couldn‚Äôt go to the real police.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>McConnell: My husband‚Äôs into drugs.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: User or seller?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>McConnell: Seller</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: So I am not looking for some tweaked out meth head
who got crazy and threw himself off a bridge.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>McConnell:<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>No, you
don’t have to waste your time in lakes and ravines.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: Good‚ĶI can‚Äôt swim.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>So let‚Äôs make sure we got this straight.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>Your husband left three months ago…why?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>McConnell: I don‚Äôt know</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: You were supposed to meet him here yesterday.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Why yesterday?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>McConnell: It‚Äôs our anniversary.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>We made a promise not to ever be a part on
our anniversary.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: Cute.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>You got
a typed letter telling you that he was going to meet in you in the morning last
night.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>McConnell: Yes, that‚Äôs right.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: And obviously he never showed.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>McConnell: Obviously</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: So your husband could be dead, alive, with a
woman.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Hell he could be with a man.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>You have no other information.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>McConnell: Yes, he told me he was working with a man named
Tweak.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: Haha, Tweak.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>Your husband gets more and more interesting…alright Ms. McConnell I’ll
find your husband.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Now, there is the
subject of payment.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>McConnell: Should I put my lips together and blow?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: Ms. McConnell I would love to listen to you <i style=””>whistle</i> all afternoon, but I have bills
to pay, and any tune, no matter how sweet, won’t keep my air-conditioning
on.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>$10,000 plus expenses.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>McConnell: Fine, will you take a check.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: I will take anything you got.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>She writes a check and stands up.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Spader stands up with her.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>McConnell: Good afternoon Mr. Spader, I will be at the Center
Hotel when you need me.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: Good afternoon Ms. McConnell.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I hope to find your husband as soon as
possible.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>She leaves and Spader sits back down.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader (voice-over): ‚ÄúPut my lips together and blow?‚Äù<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Did I just pass on a free blow job?<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I must be getting old‚Ķor stupid.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Hell it could be both.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>$10,000, she didn‚Äôt even stop to think.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Bam, one minute I was broke and now I have
ten grand.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>This girl is either a pretty
innocent or a royal cunt.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Either way my
life just got ten times more difficult.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Transition to a city center.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>Spader is standing outside. Voice over continues.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Tweak Johnson, or <st1:City w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Anderson</st1:place></st1:City>,
or hell Smith‚ĶI don‚Äôt know.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Tweak is a
colorful, but two bit drug dealer.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>He
has connections to the mob, but is also friendly with the local color.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>The spics and niggers love him.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>He is the lost boy.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>The white man in deep shit, just like
them.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader knocks.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>A
skinny guy answers the door.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: No-Tongue Thompson, how the fuck‚Äôs it goin.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Thompson: Spader? What do you want? </p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: Some coke and some heroin.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Thompson: The beverage or the drug.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: You no-swearing cocksucker‚ĶI need to see Tweak.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Thompson: Tweak ain‚Äôt here.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: Bullshit, you‚Äôre here‚ĶTweak‚Äôs here.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>You two are attached at the anus or
something.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Thompson: Stop trying to get me to swear.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>He‚Äôs downstairs.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: Thanks.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>As they walk through the house there is a Spader voice over.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader (voice-over): No-tongue is called so because they
thought for a long time he couldn‚Äôt speak.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>However, It was just that he wouldn’t swear, and he couldn’t figure out
how to communicate with these low-life‚Äôs with out stooping to their level.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Then one day he got high around other
people.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>He told them just what I said,
but the name stuck because that’s what good nicknames do.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Tweak is sitting behind a table.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>There is all sorts of drug dealer paraphernalia
around him.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Tweak: Mr. Jeff Spader, to what do I owe this honor.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: Shove the pleasantries, I‚Äôm here, you‚Äôre in
trouble…that’s how it works.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Tweak: At least have a seat.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: Tweak, how many times have I been here?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Tweak looks confused as he tries to answer the question</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: Stop before you hurt yourself.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I have been here a million times and I have
never sat down.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>What makes you think
this occasion would be any different?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Tweak: This time I‚Äôll promise not to have No-Tongue shoot
you in the back.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: No deal.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I am
on his shit list.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I tried to get him to
swear.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Tweak: How?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: I said he and you were attached at the anus.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Tweak: Sadly, a homosexual relationship has been hinted at
by some more infuriating than you.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Next
time call his Dad gay.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: I‚Äôll have to try that.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>What do you know about Pat McConnell?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Tweak: He sounds Irish.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>You should buy him a drink.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>It‚Äôs
the quickest way to an Irish heart.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: Don‚Äôt get smart with me Tweak.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>He has disappeared and you have been named as
a known associate.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Tweak: Yeah well my condition does not allow me to remember
all of the associates I have ever known.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: How much meth is in your pocket?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Tweak: What?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: You heard me</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Tweak: You know I don‚Äôt carry dugs into these meetings.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: Listen, you want to play games‚Ķso do I.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>How much is in your pocket?<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>More than an ounce?<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Felony possession?…You got some answers?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Tweak: You don‚Äôt have a warrant.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader walks over to Tweak.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>Picks him up and slams him against the wall.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: You cocksucker I am not the police.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I don‚Äôt need a fucking warrant.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Who is Patrick McConnell.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Tweak: Fuck You</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: You goddamn cheese head. (Punches Tweak.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Tweak falls to the floor).<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Those drugs eat away any sense you ever
had.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Your ribs are next so‚Ķonce
again…Who is Pat Fuckin McConnell. (Kicks him in the ribs once).</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Tweak: Some goombah from <st1:State w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>New York</st1:place></st1:State></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: Goombah?<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>His
name is McConnell.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Tweak: Yeah well it‚Äôs not 1950 anymore.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Tom Hagen is no longer a threat.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>You got connections, you got a deal.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: Why is he here?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Tweak: Do you always have to kick me?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader begins to pick him up</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: Yes, it‚Äôs the only thing that works.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Tweak: Well it fuckin sucks.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>McConnell is here because he also has an in with the Angels.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: You mean the motorcycle gang not the fuckin baseball
team.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Tweak: Yes, the Hell‚Äôs fuckin Angels.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Motorcycle gangs are the leading producers of
crank on the west coast.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Pat and I
brokered a deal to help move the shit east.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: Why?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Tweak: It makes sense.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>The west is less populated, and the supplies are more readily available
from <st1:country-region w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Mexico</st1:place></st1:country-region>.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: So the East gets a steady supply of a new, highly
addictive drug, and what does the West get.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Tweak: Mob influence and backing.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>The Senators, the judges, you know all the
shit you see on TV.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: And now why is McConnell missing.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Tweak: I don‚Äôt know.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>The last I heard he was going to meet with our contact in the Angels.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Spader: His name?</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal”>Tweak: Ripley Savage.</p>

<br>
]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_date>2006-05-25 14:35:29</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2006-05-25 18:35:29</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>489037447</wp:original_xanga_id>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[<P>No-Tongue Thompson doesn’t curse, and gets teased for seeming gay…</P>
<P>Obviously you were thinking that I would be acting&nbsp;as the whiskey bottle.</P>]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-05-25 15:39:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-05-25 19:39:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>NINJARTIST</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://ninjartist.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3448787</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1085985761</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[<P>im down even though i didnt read the script </P>
<P>by the way if i were you i would use a different name instead of mrs mcconnell because when i read it at first i thought it was her you were writing about </P>]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-05-25 22:42:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-05-26 02:42:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Yeti41</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://yeti41.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>5065334</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1086441126</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[id be down]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-05-29 13:54:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-05-29 17:54:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Naked_Ian</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://naked-ian.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3216619</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1089790330</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[im game, if you let me get drunk.]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-05-29 19:27:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-05-29 23:27:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Istari_oath</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://istari-oath.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>6519049</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1090069722</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[<P>you are a fuckin idiot, X3 was 20 times better than the first two combined, and the first 2 were flippin sweet, and Phantom Menace kicks ass, you should go buy some death sticks.</P>

<P>ps. Kelsey Grammer, are you kidding me!? simply awesome.</P>]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-05-30 17:19:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-05-30 21:19:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>MagicMako</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://magicmako.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>8110987</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1091068112</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title></title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Wed, 17 May 2006 03:49:36 -04:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[I feel lost and overwhelmed<br>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_date>2006-05-17 03:49:36</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2006-05-17 07:49:36</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>485693858</wp:original_xanga_id>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[<P>that’s because you’re in oregon and they’re only good for their christmas trees and drugs. and trails.</P>
<P>come home. you can’t get lost here.</P>]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-05-17 06:55:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-05-17 10:55:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>insertdorkhere</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://insertdorkhere.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>1687030</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1077877152</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[<P>you can get lost….in my eyes<BR/><BR/>*seductive dance*</P>]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-05-17 10:48:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-05-17 14:48:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Naked_Ian</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://naked-ian.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3216619</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1078000131</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[<P>don’t worry you will be able to spoon with weatherholtz in less than 24 hours</P>]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-05-17 13:12:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-05-17 17:12:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Yeti41</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://yeti41.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>5065334</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1078076413</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title></title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Mon, 15 May 2006 16:03:40 -04:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[So last night I had a dream where I was playing Monopoly with Tony
Soprano, and he was getting really mad because I was winning.&nbsp; So
we stopped playing before I got punched or something, and then I woke
up.&nbsp; <br>
<br>
It gave me an idea for a new kind of monopoly.&nbsp; It would be
gangster themed and you would be buying street corners instead of
property and instead of houses you would build drug dealers, weapons
dealers, casinos, brothels…all sorts of illegitamate business.&nbsp;
Then if you couldn’t pay rent the first time your legs would be broken,
and you couldn’t move your piece for like three turns, then if you
couldn’t pay your rent a second time you would have to forfiet some of
your property in restitution, and the third time you would get whacked.<br>
<br>
You could loan shark with fellow players and maybe there would be some
way of “kicking up” to the boss (the player with the most stuff).&nbsp;
Anyway, these are the things I think about in Spanish class.<br>
]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_date>2006-05-15 16:03:40</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2006-05-15 20:03:40</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>485091114</wp:original_xanga_id>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[I like it]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-05-15 17:15:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-05-15 21:15:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>MyHitAndRun</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://myhitandrun.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3359835</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1076273332</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[we should make a movie where you play monopoly with tony soprano. and tony soprano should be choisy. or weatherholtz. but he’s in philadelphia.]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-05-16 06:52:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-05-16 10:52:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>insertdorkhere</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://insertdorkhere.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>1687030</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1076898893</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[<P>do you have a man crush on tony soprano or something?</P>]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-05-16 12:50:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-05-16 16:50:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Yeti41</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://yeti41.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>5065334</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1077093100</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[i have a man crush on tony soprano…<BR/><BR/>p.s. would the peices be assorted street thugs?<BR/>]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-05-16 20:14:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-05-17 00:14:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Naked_Ian</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://naked-ian.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3216619</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1077495257</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title></title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Tue, 02 May 2006 04:17:14 -04:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[Animaniacs and Pinky and the Brain on DVD July 25.&nbsp; Holla!<br>
]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_date>2006-05-02 04:17:14</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2006-05-02 08:17:14</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>479833750</wp:original_xanga_id>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[old news, man.]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-05-02 07:48:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-05-02 11:48:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>insertdorkhere</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://insertdorkhere.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>1687030</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1063034996</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[I knew that someone would want to know about those DVDs, I just didn’t know who to tell.]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-05-02 08:27:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-05-02 12:27:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>NINJARTIST</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://ninjartist.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3448787</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1063057029</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Narf]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-05-02 11:13:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-05-02 15:13:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Naked_Ian</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://naked-ian.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3216619</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1063164664</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title></title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Fri, 21 Apr 2006 01:23:49 -04:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[For anyone who cares:<br>
<br>
I will be home June 14.<br>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_date>2006-04-21 01:23:33</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2006-04-21 05:23:33</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>475131049</wp:original_xanga_id>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Hooray!]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-04-21 08:35:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-04-21 12:35:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>insertdorkhere</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://insertdorkhere.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>1687030</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1050870195</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[<P>If you need someone to but a hit on your dad call this number 484-269-8847</P>]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-04-21 16:07:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-04-21 20:07:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Yeti41</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://yeti41.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>5065334</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1051183915</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[<P>put* </P>
<P>i heard your going to go see that gymnastic movie. is this true?</P>]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-04-21 18:16:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-04-21 22:16:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Yeti41</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://yeti41.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>5065334</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1051342595</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[i heared…tha…um….*pops smoke and runs away*]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-04-23 19:45:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-04-23 23:45:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Naked_Ian</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://naked-ian.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3216619</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1053758128</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title></title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Sun, 02 Apr 2006 05:36:02 -04:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[I was going through some old Xanga’s and I found one that becomes more
and more true the longer I am in College.&nbsp; One of these days I am
going to follow my own advice.<br>
<br>
March 10, 2005<br>
<br>
<span>I have decided I am not coming back from LA after Spring Break.&nbsp;
I am going to stay there and become a busboy in a Hollywood.&nbsp; From
there I can fufill my aspirations to push bad scripts onto high powered
producers without ever being successful.&nbsp; Then when I am thirty and
king of the Hollywood busboy failures I will return to college.&nbsp;&nbsp;Where
I will study underwater basket weaving&nbsp;and would certainly be
guaranteed a job right after graduation.</span><br>
]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_date>2006-04-02 05:36:02</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2006-04-02 09:36:02</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>466619119</wp:original_xanga_id>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[hahaha]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-04-02 13:50:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-04-02 17:50:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Naked_Ian</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://naked-ian.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3216619</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1027773327</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[its so true, except if i watch it before bed it incorperates intself into my dreams.&nbsp;]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-04-18 19:53:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-04-18 23:53:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Naked_Ian</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://naked-ian.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3216619</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1047943124</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[i had a dream joe palumbo died of cancer, just like jackie apriol did, and then i went berserke and beat up a dude like tony does to soemone…in every episode]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-04-19 02:06:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-04-19 06:06:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Naked_Ian</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://naked-ian.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3216619</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1048401362</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title></title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Wed, 22 Mar 2006 05:33:38 -04:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div style=”text-align: center;”><span style=”font-style: italic;”><span style=”font-weight: bold;”>Jack Bauer Goes to College<br>
<br>
</span></span>

<p style=”text-align: left;” class=”MsoNormal”><b style=””>The Following Takes Place
Between 3:00 and 4:00 p.m.<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<div style=”text-align: left;”>

</div>
<div style=”text-align: left;”>

</div>
<div style=”text-align: left;”>

</div>
<div style=”text-align: left;”>

</div>
<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”line-height: 200%; text-align: left;”><b style=””><o:p></o:p></b><span style=””></span>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; The
fading December sun filled Jack Bauer’s dorm room with the pale evanescence of
twilight.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>It was finals week at <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:PlaceName w:st=”on”>Georgetown</st1:PlaceName> <st1:PlaceType w:st=”on”>University</st1:PlaceType></st1:place>, and Jack had to cram for his
Political Science test.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span></p>
<div style=”text-align: left;”>

</div>
<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”line-height: 200%; text-align: left;”><span style=””>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span>Jack
was the proverbial bookworm.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>His blonde
hair constantly frazzled, and his glasses held together by scotch tape.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>He never left the room.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Sometimes he would go to the library, and he
always went to class.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>But somehow Jack
always managed to find his way back to the comfort of his dorm.</p>
<div style=”text-align: left;”>

</div>
<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”line-height: 200%; text-align: left;”><span style=””>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span>Jack‚Äôs
roommate was a rowdy, ex-football star.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>In high school Tony had been an all-state defensive back, and to him,
the party of high school success had simply moved to collegiate excess.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>He hardly ever was with Jack, but when he
was, he new to be quiet.</p>
<div style=”text-align: left;”>

</div>
<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”line-height: 200%; text-align: left;”><span style=””>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span>Jack
had a reputation has a recluse.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Sure, he
was quiet and studied a lot, but that was his identity.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Jack hated to be interrupted.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>One time, Tony came home drunk on a Wednesday
night when Jack had a paper due the next day.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>The rumor was Tony pulled a beer from his mini-fridge and offered it to
Jack.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Jack produced a knife and threw it
through the bottle.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Shattering it instantly
and leaving Tony covered in the stale, sticky smell of cheap beer.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span></p>
<div style=”text-align: left;”>

</div>
<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”line-height: 200%; text-align: left;”><span style=””>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span>Tonight,
Jack was glad Tony had gone to see his girlfriend and that he had the place to
himself.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>He turned on his Ted Nugent
record and began to read John Locke’s <u>Second Treatise on Government</u> for
his upcoming test.</p>
<div style=”text-align: left;”>

</div>
<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”line-height: 200%; text-align: left;”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>
<div style=”text-align: left;”>

</div>
<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”line-height: 200%; text-align: left;”><span style=””>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span>Meanwhile,
at a campus coffee shop, three students had gathered.</p>
<div style=”text-align: left;”>

</div>
<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”line-height: 200%; text-align: left;”><span style=””>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span>‚ÄúWhen
is it happening?‚Äù<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Whispered a raspy voice
in the crowded store.</p>
<div style=”text-align: left;”>

</div>
<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”line-height: 200%; text-align: left;”><span style=””>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span>‚ÄúTonight,‚Äù
responded a different, female voice.</p>
<div style=”text-align: left;”>

</div>
<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”line-height: 200%; text-align: left;”><span style=””>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span>‚ÄúExcellent,‚Äù
said the young man sitting between the two other students.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>‚ÄúAfter tonight they will know who we are.‚Äù</p>
<div style=”text-align: left;”>

</div>
<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”line-height: 200%; text-align: left;”><span style=””>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span>‚ÄúWho
are we?” asked the second man.</p>
<div style=”text-align: left;”>

</div>
<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”line-height: 200%; text-align: left;”><span style=””>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span>‚ÄúThey‚Äôll
see,” was the response, “they’ll see.” </p>

<div style=”text-align: left;”>
</div>
</div>
]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_date>2006-03-22 05:33:38</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2006-03-22 10:33:38</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>461411201</wp:original_xanga_id>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[oh that Tony, he will be missed]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-03-22 08:44:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-03-22 13:44:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>MyHitAndRun</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://myhitandrun.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3359835</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1013121003</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Is this…fan fiction?]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-03-22 10:17:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-03-22 15:17:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>insertdorkhere</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://insertdorkhere.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>1687030</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1013186307</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title></title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Sun, 19 Mar 2006 06:12:58 -04:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[It’s a gut check, these nights in the dark.&nbsp; A cold ache in the
stomach.&nbsp; It’s probably the booze, but booze doesn’t hurt.&nbsp;
Not at three in the morning.&nbsp; It should be a blinding bliss.&nbsp;
A masking agent.&nbsp; But something is there, something hurts.&nbsp;
Something besides the empty night.&nbsp; A void is too cliche, so is an
emptiness.&nbsp;&nbsp; I can’t even let myself feel.&nbsp; So I crawl
into bed trying for the last escape.&nbsp; Sleep, dreams,
silence.&nbsp; Only, they are filled by the cold ache.&nbsp; The guilt,
the anger, the confusion.&nbsp; Why?&nbsp; The ironic question.&nbsp;
You search for the answer everywhere but where it lies.&nbsp; You
conceal it in clever word play and metaphors, but then your journal
entry gets out of hand and you dismiss the journey.&nbsp; fuck.<br>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_date>2006-03-19 06:11:21</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2006-03-19 11:11:21</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>459892618</wp:original_xanga_id>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[&nbsp;I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. I looked with a grimace at the questionable meal Lois had placed in front of me. Of course, I would never tell her how disgusted I was with her cooking, but somehow I think she knew. Lois had always been full of energy and life, but lately I had begun to grow more aware of her aging. The bright, exuberant eyes that I had fallen in love with were now beginning to grow dull and listless with the long fatigue of a weary life.]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-03-19 15:49:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-03-19 20:49:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>NINJARTIST</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://ninjartist.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3448787</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1009100590</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[I awoke several hours later in a daze…]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-03-19 17:59:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-03-19 22:59:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>MyHitAndRun</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://myhitandrun.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3359835</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1009304058</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[can you start wearing that superman outfit all the time?]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-03-21 22:00:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-03-22 03:00:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Countach</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://countach.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>5312268</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1012715216</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title></title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Wed, 15 Mar 2006 02:09:00 -04:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[Ok two things <br>
<br>
First, during 24 last night when Sean Astin had to save the day
everyone in my house that was watching started randomly chanting,
“Ru-dy! Ru-dy!&nbsp; Ru-dy!”<br>
<br>
Second, Dinner Conversation part III:&nbsp; At a mexican resturant.<br>
<br>
Amanda:&nbsp; Why’d they give me white rice?<br>
Me:&nbsp; Why you got to make it a racial thing?<br>
Brian: Yeah what are you?&nbsp; A rice-ist.<br>
]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_date>2006-03-15 02:09:00</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2006-03-15 07:09:00</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>457889969</wp:original_xanga_id>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[I’m glad Sean Astin is off the show, but if Tony was going to die they should have at least let him save the day.]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-03-15 11:00:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-03-15 16:00:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>MyHitAndRun</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://myhitandrun.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3359835</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1003079190</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[<P>white rice is better tasteing, and more hard working</P>]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-03-15 11:36:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-03-15 16:36:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Naked_Ian</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://naked-ian.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3216619</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>1003108807</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title></title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Tue, 07 Mar 2006 16:26:52 -05:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[So I ordered something from Bestbuy.com and asked them to ship it
here.&nbsp; For some reason they shipped the package all the way from
New Jersey to here.&nbsp; You would think a large company like Best Buy
would have more than one distribution center.&nbsp; Or, at least have
one on the West coast.&nbsp; We need electronics too.<br>
]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_date>2006-03-07 16:26:52</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2006-03-07 21:26:52</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>454157269</wp:original_xanga_id>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[thats how it goes.&nbsp; i ordered something from AFES (armed forces exchange store) which has stores in every base in the country, and they shipped my stuff from new mexico….]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-03-07 23:41:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-03-08 04:41:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Naked_Ian</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://naked-ian.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3216619</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>992928585</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[best buy is a fucked up company]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-03-08 13:19:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-03-08 18:19:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Yeti41</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://yeti41.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>5065334</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>993322284</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title></title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Fri, 03 Mar 2006 19:33:31 -05:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[“So what does Weatherholtz want to do with his life?&nbsp; Be a Gigolo or something?”– Judith Speicher<br>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_date>2006-03-03 19:33:31</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2006-03-04 00:33:31</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>452231740</wp:original_xanga_id>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[i could see it<BR/><BR/>or a sailor man…]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-03-05 19:21:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-03-06 00:21:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Naked_Ian</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://naked-ian.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3216619</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>989553014</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[<P>he is going to bring back the show guts and he will be the host. </P>]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-03-06 12:30:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-03-06 17:30:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Yeti41</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://yeti41.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>5065334</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>990395723</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[<P>actually i think he will form a U2 tribute band and tour the U.S. however they won’t draw to many crowds because the only song they will play is one and acoustic verison of one.</P>]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-03-07 00:01:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-03-07 05:01:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Yeti41</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://yeti41.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>5065334</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>991513320</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title></title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Wed, 01 Mar 2006 05:36:40 -05:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[

<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”line-height: 200%;”>Dear Brain,</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”line-height: 200%;”><span style=””>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span>You
work to hard.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>And not in the good
way.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>That 59% on your Spanish presentation
or the 69% on your geology midterm that wasn‚Äôt hard work for you.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>You lazy bitch.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>You say to yourself, ‚Äúman, I don‚Äôt have to
work because I know this class doesn‚Äôt matter.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>I know that Jake is taking this class pass/no pass.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>He‚Äôs not getting a grade.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>It won‚Äôt affect his GPA.‚Äù<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>You also know that I will drown you in
fermented beverages at the end of the week, so you feel no desire to help
me.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Why trade quality thinking for drowning,
and I agree.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>That‚Äôs not really a fair
trade.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”line-height: 200%;”><span style=””>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span>However,
I am tired of your constant stream of consciousness while I am trying to go to
sleep.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>It‚Äôs like the rest of the day you
just sit in my head and think about nothing.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>But Jesus, when I want to sleep.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>It’s like you flip a switch and I am forced to think about everything in
the history of mankind.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Hell, it‚Äôs not
even my history.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”line-height: 200%;”><span style=””>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span>But
probably the most irritating thing you do is your proposals of the hypothetical.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>The ‚Äúwhat ifs.‚Äù<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>These aren‚Äôt simple what ifs either.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>You know like what if I went to school
tomorrow or what if I got out of bed and wrote a letter to myself.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>No that would be too easy.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Instead it‚Äôs like what if in 7<sup>th</sup> grade
I had talked to one person or the other or in football if I had blocked one guy
in that one game on that one play.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>It‚Äôs
irritating to sit their and have your existence called into question.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”line-height: 200%;”><span style=””>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span>Now,
you are probably reading this Brain and saying to yourself, “wow, Jake must
have gotten really drunk.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>It being Mardi
Gras and all.‚Äù<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>But no!<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I am sober and tired and you won‚Äôt shut
down.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>It‚Äôs like you are frozen in ‚Äúmake
Jake feel inadequate mode.‚Äù<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I don‚Äôt need
you for that.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>That‚Äôs what my writing for
the media class is for.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Maybe if you
paid attention you would see that every time you and I go to that class our
future life is called into question.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>You
think you get drowned now, just wait till I don‚Äôt have a future.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>Then we‚Äôll see who will become an Olympic swimmer
in beer and rum.</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”line-height: 200%;”><span style=””>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span>One
more thing.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>You need to stop having me
come up with these stories ideas you think are brilliant and then not forcing
me to write them.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>I see their
potential.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>And I see them wasting away
in thought.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>That‚Äôs your fault Brain!</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”line-height: 200%;”><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin-left: 2.5in; text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;”>Damn
YOU!</p>

<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”line-height: 200%;”><span style=””>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span><span style=””>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
</span>Jake
Speicher</p>

]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_date>2006-03-01 05:36:40</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2006-03-01 10:36:40</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>450925376</wp:original_xanga_id>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[<P>I think you are perfectly adequate. Probably even way more than adequate, but to say that I’d have to compliment you, and given your status (that is you being in Oregon and not in Pennsylvania with me) I have to refrain from complimenting you.</P>
<P>So..uh…suck it up, Princess. Write me letters late at night and then mail them to me. I love letters.</P>]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-03-01 09:21:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-03-01 14:21:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>insertdorkhere</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://insertdorkhere.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>1687030</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>983252680</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[I love lamp.<BR/><BR/>My brain kicks into overdrive too when I try to go to bed; it can get pretty annoying. It’s usually “what if” stuff too. That’s the kind of thing that drives you the craziest, analyzing every possible outcome from every choice you could have made, ever. It blows goats.]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-03-01 11:02:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-03-01 16:02:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Omniscient_Overlord</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://omniscient-overlord.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>7884946</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>983322912</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[<P>there were horses, and a man on fire, and i&nbsp;killed a man with a trident</P>]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-03-01 11:16:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-03-01 16:16:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Naked_Ian</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://naked-ian.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3216619</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>983331923</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title></title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Sat, 25 Feb 2006 23:44:16 -05:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[Bodie Miller is a waste of space.&nbsp; I hope someone stabs him in his head with a ski pole.<br>
]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_date>2006-02-25 23:44:16</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2006-02-26 04:44:16</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>449241273</wp:original_xanga_id>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[what? why? did he have more powder in his nose than under his skiis?]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-02-26 01:43:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-02-26 06:43:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Naked_Ian</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://naked-ian.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3216619</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>978464262</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[For the record, his website didn’t make any sense, either.]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-02-27 13:28:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-02-27 18:28:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>NINJARTIST</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://ninjartist.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3448787</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>980419450</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title></title>
<dc:creator>Barnaby_Ham</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Fri, 17 Feb 2006 00:55:54 -05:00</pubDate>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[In my Writing for the Media class we had this assignment where we had
to describe a famous person.&nbsp; On the list of people we could
describe was Kermit the Frog.&nbsp; Due to the recent obsession with
Kermit I chose him.&nbsp; This is what came out:<br>
<br>

<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”line-height: 200%;”>Kermit the Frog struts the swamp
like an amphibian who knows his success.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>His spindly legs support his green magnificence.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>It was in this very swamp that 27 years ago
the world was introduced to Kermit.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>The
year was 1979 and after the social upheaval of <st1:country-region w:st=”on”>Vietnam</st1:country-region>
and the late ‚Äò60s and early ‚Äò70s, <st1:country-region w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>America</st1:place></st1:country-region> was searching for a
voice.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>An honest, pure voice.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>One that would ring through the superficial
excesses of the previous and up-coming decades.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>So, with the strum of his banjo, Kermit unleashed his shattered
optimism.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>It was a voice that combined
his childlike desire with his adult realism.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>He asked: “Why are there so many songs about rainbows? And what’s on the
other side?‚Äù<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>His eyes always open to
reality, he looked to the sky and continued: “Rainbows are visions, but only
illusions, and rainbows have nothing to hide.‚Äù<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>Now, so many years removed from that song, Kermit has moved on.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>He has moved on to comedy and movies‚Äîbut
always with a message.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>‚ÄúIt ain‚Äôt easy
being green,‚Äù rings as true now as it did then.<span style=””>&nbsp;
</span>Kermit has become an icon.<span style=””>&nbsp; </span>An
American symbol that proves no matter how gloomy the day—there is always a
“Rainbow Connection.”</p>

<br>
]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_date>2006-02-17 00:55:54</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2006-02-17 05:55:54</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:status>Publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:original_xanga_id>444501163</wp:original_xanga_id>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[you forgot his battle with cocaine]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-02-17 08:34:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-02-17 13:34:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>MyHitAndRun</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://myhitandrun.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3359835</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>964420008</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[and his love affair with elton john]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-02-17 09:01:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-02-17 14:01:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>insertdorkhere</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://insertdorkhere.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>1687030</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>964436901</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[and his childhood molestation]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-02-17 13:24:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-02-17 18:24:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>NINJARTIST</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://ninjartist.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3448787</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>964686549</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[and his…nephew Robin?<BR/><BR/>good show mr jake]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_date>2006-02-18 00:25:00</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2006-02-18 05:25:00</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_author>Naked_Ian</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>bounce@xanga.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://naked-ian.xanga.com/</wp:comment_author_url&gt;
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
<wp:comment_xanga_user_id>3216619</wp:comment_xanga_user_id>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_id>965674236</wp:comment_id>
</wp:comment>
</item>
</channel>
</rss>


It’s a man-off. A man-off.

November 6, 2008
Don Draper of Mad Men, Tony Soprano of The Sopranos, Tommy Gavin of Resuce Me and Jimmy McNulty of The Wire

From left to right: Don Draper of Mad Men, Tony Soprano of The Sopranos, Tommy Gavin of Resuce Me and Jimmy McNulty of The Wire

Back in college the magazine I worked for did a tournament to determine who the manliest man in history was. Contestants included Bruce Lee, Genghis Khan, Mickey Spillane and George Patton. What made a man “manlier” than other is how he fared in three categories: drinking, whoring and fighting. I have decided to extend this format to four of the preeminent male characters on television today: Don Draper from Mad Men, Tony Soprano from the Sopranos, Jimmy McNulty from The Wire and Tommy Gavin from Rescue Me. Ladies and gentlemen, it’s a man-off.

Read the rest of this entry »


I told you that bitch was crazy

October 21, 2008
What on earth will this accomplish?

What on earth will this accomplish?

Let’s pretend I ran a football team, and the team I was running was having some trouble. Well, the whole team isn’t having trouble. It’s more like one player is causing the trouble. He’s selfish, makes ridiculous statements to the media and is not a “team player.” Because of this one player, the rest of the team is constantly forced to say and do the right things in order to make up for this one guy. An unspoken level of stress and animosity builds up throughout the team because they can’t understand why this one player who does everything wrong off the field gets all the attention.

Now, if you had to guess what position that guy played what would you say? Wide receiver, right? (Or, Terrell Owens to be specific because that’s who I was thinking about as I wrote the previous paragraph.) A lot has been written about T.O. and why he acts the way he does. But I don’t think I have ever seen an article about what it is about receivers that make them act that way. People like T.O., Chad Johnson, Randy Moss, Kellen Winslow and Jeremy Shockey are just a few in the long line of receivers who are outspoken, talented when they want to be and quite frankly, really annoying. (I know the last two are tight ends, but they are receiving tight ends so save your comment corrections.)

Read the rest of this entry »


Philosophy for the Shallow: Plato’s Cave, baseball and subjective reality

October 20, 2008

Here's what Plato came up with after he came down.

Once upon a time there was a Greek philosopher who took a bunch of mushrooms and wandered into a cave. He must have started a fire, and in the midst of making shadow puppets on the wall and mumbling to himself he was hit by an hallucinatory bolt of lightning. He realized that he controlled everything that he could see projected on the wall. His mind then jumped to a conclusion that could only be made possible by the presence of hallucinogens—what if everything we see is someone else’s shadow puppets.

When Plato came down, he formulated his Allegory of the Cave. He “philosophized” that most humans are unenlightened because they are content to simply name the shapes and shadows that others are projecting into their reality. However, the enlightened human will eventually turn around, see the “projectionist” behind them and walk outside. Read the rest of this entry »


A film studies graduate student ruins Spider-Man

September 19, 2008
My spidey sense is tingling

My spidey sense is tingling

In the summer of 2002 Sony Pictures released the highly anticipated adaptation of the popular comic book series Spider-Man.  The film, staring Tobey Maguire and directed by Evil Dead alum Sam Raimi, would go on to smash box office records and usher in a new era of superhero driven cinema.   While many passed off the movie as “popcorn fare”  others saw it as something more.

While the film does brush up against such intriguing topics as the military-industrial complex post 9/11 and the effects a non-traditional family has on adolescence, the most gripping storyline involves young Peter Parker. Read the rest of this entry »


U-S-A, U-S-A, U-S-A

September 5, 2008
Ignore the man behind the curtain.

Ignore the man behind the curtain.

I was going to try to go the whole Republican convention without writing anything.  I thought that since I didn’t write anything about the democrats it would somehow be unfair to the GOP if I suddenly took umbrage with something they said.

So instead, I took umbrage with something they did.

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College Football Preview Bonanza

August 28, 2008
A shodown in the second week of the season?  Or is the Ohio State USC game a preview of the BCS Championship?

A showdown in the second week of the season? Or is the Ohio State USC game a preview of the BCS Championship?

Let the trumpets sound Hail to the Victors and Fight On; unleash Bevo and Traveller; hear the 12th Man roar. College football is about to begin. Roll out the Ole Ball Coach and the Jeweled Shillelagh. Go to the Swamp or between the Hedges. Visit a valley–Happy or Death. What is a Buckeye? Or a Sooner? Exactly what is happening when the Golden Domers meet Trojans? Bring on the East Coast bias. Bring on the Cardinal and the Orange. The spread option and the fun and gun. Who’s ready for “Whoa Nelly” or the Heisman? It’s time for my third annual college football preview bonanza.

Like last year, I will give an overview of each conference, and I will pick the winner and a dark horse (the Dark Horse cannot be ranked in the current top 25). I will also try to make a hilarious category for each conference, as well as give you the national championship game participants and winner. I will also be making a Heisman pick. So let’s get started.

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